I need toughen up like a hard boiled egg. I need to learn to let go of things. I need to realize you can’t make everyone happy. I just don’t seem to have the skill set even with therapy I still struggle. It’s no way to live life.
I got told because of my mental health I won’t get a supervisor position at work. Though I can have a less stressful job with same pay. I’m torn because the one position I really want is being offered. Yet I feel offended but she’s probably right about being able to supervise people. Ugh I’m so conflicted. How would you feel if you got told your mental health is a reason for not getting promoted?
I’m in a whiney mood. Life is funny. I wish I could get on disability to not deal with a job. I know people on disability who would love to work. I need to be grateful I have a job and that I function pretty well at it. I’m just not in the groove today. I have home projects I feel like doing for once and I sit here working.
I’m having a high anxiety day. I’m not sure why in the beginning of the day but now it’s work related. I’m fighting not to take my klonopin. Why do Good intentions bite me in the ass? I am working on letting it go. But it’s a struggle. I could use some calming vibes please.
There is the supervisor job open in my office for what I do. No one seems to want it. Well a part of me does but the other part of me knows it’s a bad idea. I can’t be in charge of other people like that. But them I think what kind of opportunity am I missing out on? The fact no one else wants it though is telling I think.
It’s only Monday and I’m already over this week. I had to get up early and take a kiddo to school. I don’t like my work colleagues and I’m waiting for my new supervisor to start. Being a social worker is rewarding and exhausting. You have to lift up people with more dire straights than you.
I am planning a mini get away this weekend. I’m debating on not going but I know I should. I promised this year I’d live life but I don’t want to. It’s scary.
I know I’m not posting as much but work has been hectic. I worked late three out of five days. It’s weird going from no hours practically to over forty. It was nice while it lasted 😀 I’m liking it being back but I’m fearful I won’t maintain good self care and I worry too much about my cases. I need to find healthy ways to unwind and let it go.
I’m still disappointed in my choice to leave as the job I want went to someone else. But you can’t go back and redo life. I need to be happy with the one I have somehow. Still figuring it all out. Do we ever get our shit together?