Finally some good news

I got the official hire letter. Signed and sent back. It seems like less money then quoted but still with the benefits and the fact I will have a pension instead of 401k I think it’ll work out. I could have heard them wrong too who knows. I’m going to wait until after my vacation

What’s worth fighting for?

I was called into the office today to be the next step down from written up. It’s a “coaching” thing. I fully think it’s bullshit as I’m not costing company money. It’s not the quality of my notes or how I do my job and I know I’m forgoing a bonus due to not having

When being a nice person sucks

I feel the urge to count my eggs before chickens due to niceties my company doesn’t deserve. I don’t have the official letter to start my new job just an offer contingent to the background check. I know it’s foolish to warn my boss that I am quitting without it being formal yet I feel

Million steps forward million and half back

Got great news I have a conditional start date as long as pass the background. Which should be no issue. It’s not until July first so that sucks but a light at end of tunnel. I have a tarot reading party that last time I said I’d do for free but they gave me money.

Struggling

I’m really struggling right now. I feel very on edge and emotionally drained. I don’t know how to fix it and maybe that’s the problem. I need to accept it or is that the toxic positivity people say? The question is ultimately how do I deal with emotions that are tough. I feel so much

Hiccups

I do tentatively have the job. There is a hiccup though they are having issues getting someone to verify my work ethic as a supervisor. My current job only confirms I work there. My old last children division supervisor won’t return calls so they reached out thankfully and another supervisor I’m friends with that was

Maybe things will work out

I had crazy dreams last night. Different things all over just very chaotic. My job interview went well and I think I’m in the running of everything checks out. I reached out about an easier way to get ahold of my supervisor and she said she’d like that number. I’m still waiting for the shoe

Interview

I feel it went well but I felt the last one did too and I didn’t get the job. I’m trying my best to not get my hopes up. I’m fearful something will mess it up and I’m unhireable I know this is catastrophic thinking but I suck at using cbt skills. Sigh… plus my

Interesting things are happening

While I am still mentally struggling with why on earth this person is not fired. And knowing there is no peace from it. I am job hunting again. I no longer have the care for bullshit or with the limited benefits of the job to keep feeling suicidal ideation because things aren’t right or fair.

Tomorrow is a work day again

And the insecurities are back full force. It is manifesting as people on my team have no idea just what this lady is doing and how she is and some feel sorry for her because she’s had a rough life. I know it is not healthy in my mind to care or worry about it.