More dreams wth

I kept dreaming last night i was not allowed to leave the psych hospital.  I was being treated well but i couldn’t figure out why others got to leave when i was “being a good girl” it was bizarre.  Then i was able to get out and i went to a store that sold secondContinue reading “More dreams wth”

Just some things on my mind

I am a jumble of emotions right now. Mainly about work. I have to figure out some self care to help with these feelings. I don’t feel depressed but sleep sounds so good. My sleep study was not enough to get me a cpap right then and there. Im always looking for something to helpContinue reading “Just some things on my mind”

depression

I feel a depression coming on. All I want to do is sleep. My therapist touched on something the other day I don’t think he even realized. My self worth. It’s for shit. I want to be perfect but fail miserably. I don’t even like myself how can others? How does one build self esteem?Continue reading “depression”

What are your demons?

I think my top three demons are as follows… Self esteem Binge eating Worry I know I dance with them frequently. Usually in a florid hurry… Welcoming them in as a dance partner. I need to learn to dance on my own and leave them behind.

I need a hug

My files at work are being audited and their a mess. I feel like a failure. I hope I’m making it a bigger deal in my head then it is. We’ll find out Friday I guess. Of course it’s only Wednesday so I have two days to dwell on it. Other then that I feelContinue reading “I need a hug”

Thoughts of the day

This journey I am on isn’t easy. I use to have self confidence but low self esteem. Now I feel I have low of both. My new year’s resolution is to find the love for myself. I think I did some self destructing at work lately. Tomorrow I meet with my boss we shall seeContinue reading “Thoughts of the day”

My scar

My scar I was “challenged” and I use that term loosely by Heather to post my scar from the other days #loveme challenge. She said she’d post a scar as well so check out her blog. It’s awesome in general and she’s super supportive. This is my torso scars and stretch marks. Just trying to find aContinue reading “My scar”

To feel special

I’ve always had this obsession to feel special. I remember it as a teenager even. Is this something everyone wants or a borderline personality thing? The older I get the less special I feel. Maybe it’s my self esteem issue. I probably need to find myself special first before someone else can. I need toContinue reading “To feel special”

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