And just like that

I’m triggered with bad thoughts in my head. I feel so guilty he texted me and told me I’m an unsupportive girlfriend because I said something rude or if frustration and when I’m going through stuff he doesn’t do that. So I just want to lay down and not exist. No plans just this feeling

Relationships

Sometimes I think not being in a relationship would be best for me. My boyfriend is very mercurial. Right now he’s in a depressed screw the world mood. I’m between I can’t take his negativity to wanting to fix it. But he’s living his life and I’m mine. Still it makes me overly anxious. I

Welp

I’m sitting here at the psych drs appt. She managed not to cancel this time. With all the difficult talk of last night with my son i also got into a fight with the boyfriend. Once again not sure how i feel about it. We essentially hung up on each other last night and neither

What does i love you really mean

I dated for several months years ago a family friend i grew up with. It was long distance and frankly i was a mess mentally and he is an alcoholic. I love him dearly but i wasn’t in a place to peacefully go from on alcoholic relationship to another. I guess you really shouldn’t be

Well hell.. hmmm

What do you do when you feel self destructive and you try to be and it back fires? Do you thank your lucky stars or up the ante? I’m going to go with disappointing lucky stars. So far today I’ve stopped myself from buying things i don’t need and talked to an ex that added

Something funny is going on

Do you ever just know something changed in a relationship and you’re too scared to ask? I feel something is off and i think i know what it is but it’s partly my fault and i don’t know how to fix it. I’ve been down this road before. This time i am more self aware.

romantic movies and novels are Bullshit!

Ha how is that for a title.  Yesterday I reblogged a post a wonderful writer wrote about emotional cutting.  You can find the original here. It has me thinking and realizing all kinds realizations. I have for years ranted how movies and books make horrible expectations of love and romance. No one can live up

Boundaries — Chapter One

I decided to journal through the book like a review/catharsis kind of thing. So without any further adieu I have finished Chapter One of Boundaries — When To Say Yes When To Say  No To Take Control of Your Life. The beginning of the book is a day in a life of a women who

Dear God please help my therapist…

So I had my first therapy appointment with the fourth therapist I have ever went to. Each time I have been enlightened. This time I am more desperate and have an added issue of knowing enough of psychology to be dangerous. I am a social worker by trade. I went back to school three years