random

1500 subscribers get to know me

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25 Get to Know Me Questions’s

1. What is your middle name?: Marie — very 70’s middle name.

2. What was favorite subject at school?: History and English.

3. What is your favorite drink?: Pumkins Spice Latte from Starbucks

4. What is your favorite song at the moment?: Bad at Love by Halsey

5. What is your favorite food?: Italian

6. What is the last thing you bought?: Subway as I didn’t want to cook supper.

7. Favorite book of all time?: Early Laurel K Hamilton books

8. Favorite Color?: Purple by far.

9. Do you have any pets?: I have a cat and a dog.

10. Favorite Perfume?: I don’t wear perfume so I am not sure.

11. Favorite Holiday?: Christmas. I love getting and giving gifts.

12. Are you married?: I am currently getting a divorce which is taking way to long to make happen but that is a story for another day.

13. Have you ever been out of the country, if so how many times?: I have been to New Zealand and Australia back in 1997. It was amazing.

14. Do you speak any other language?: I know enough spanish to get by if I ever went to Mexico other then that no.

15. How many siblings do you have?: I am a spoiled only child.

16. What is your favorite shop?: Target

17. Favorite restaurant?: Red Lobster but there isn’t one local to me.

18. When was the last time you cried?: THree weeks ago in therapy. Does that make it a good session?

19. Favorite Blog?: Oh man too many to list. I love this community so much.

20. Favorite Movie?: Another one I can’t pin down. I am a movie buff as far as romantic comedies. BUt I also like scifi and some action movies.

21. Favorite TV shows?:  RIght now it is Scandl again. I am anxious to see how Shondra Rhimes ends the series. 

22. PC or Mac?: Mac but all I own is pcs

23. What phone do you have?: I have an iphone six

24. How tall are you?: 5’10″

25. Can you cook?: I can cook but I have lost the passion for it like a lot of things. sigh

If anyone else wants to use my questions by all means go ahead. I would love to see your answers. ANd thank you to everyone who follows me. It makes me feel appreciated.

20 Questions

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I wanted to do something lighthearted today. And wordpress said I now reached 1337 followers which must be a landmark for them so here is twenty questions answered about me.

  1. What is my happiest memory? I am going to go with my happiest moment in time. I remember driving with friends at about eighteen down the road with my hand out the window and the wheels splashing water and my hand. I didn’t care how dirty the water was. I was carefree and without a worry in the world. It was heaven.
  2. Do I think aliens exist? I actually do not. I think we would have found them or they would have found us by now. I just can’t wrap my mind around there be aliens. Though I like sci-fi movies and the idea of them.
  3. What is the favorite thing about myself? This is a hard one right now but I think that I care so much about life. It is what is bringing me so much anguish right now but I do like that I care. Is there a way to still care and dial it down though? That is the question?
  4. What was your favorite television show as a child? Hands down Save By The Bell
  5. What do you feel most proud of? My three children.
  6. What’s your biggest irrational fear? I can’t say it is completely irrational as it does happen to people but I am terrified that my house will catch on fire. I think about it A LOT.
  7. What is the best Halloween costume you ever had? My mom made me into a cabbage patch doll one year. It was amazing.
  8. What’s your favorite lyric? Oh this is so hard!! Probably Sullen Girl by Fiona Apple Is that why they call me
    A sullen girl, sullen girl
    They don’t know
    I used to sail the
    Deep and tranquil sea
    But he washed me shore
    And he took my pearl
    And left an empty
    Shell of me ==== I know it is probably about rape though I am not sure but I feel like someone took a piece of me and left an empty shell and I can’t get my pearl back.
  9. Would I want the ability to read minds? Hell No! I am paranoid as it is. I don’t need that added to my plate. What I don’t know doesn’t hurt me right?
  10. What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? My three newborn baby boys. Sorry nothing compares.
  11. If money wasn’t a factor how would I spend the rest of my life? I think living in Dallas Texas in a fancy house with a butler, cook, etc. Doing mental health charity work. It would be awesome!
  12. What social issue is most important to you? Well besides mental health which would be the obvious answer I would say…. childhood trauma which often leads to mental health issues so they do tie in together.
  13. Do you believe in soul mates? Yes I do. But I don’t think I believe in them as necessarily lovers but as more of friends and if sex is a perk to that soul mate friendship all the better. I hope that made sense lol
  14. If you were invisible for a day what would you do? Again I am too paranoid to be invisible so I wouldn’t do it. I would just stay in my house and wait it out. Boring I know.
  15. What fictional character do you identify with the most? By far Bridget Jones from Bridget Jones’s Diary. I am pudgy, but funny and endearing and a klutz and self conscious and a total flake.
  16. What actor would play you in a movie about your life? Wow this is a good question and very egotistical lol. But I would like to say Jennifer Lawrence. I love her and she is a great mental health advocate.
  17. What celebrity do you have a crush on right now? Currently I am really feeling Keanu Reeves with Brad Pitt and him becoming sober a close second.
  18. Did you ever cheat on a test in school. No never a test but I did get caught cheating on math homework where I copied off a friend of mine.
  19. Have you ever been arrested? No but I have been pulled over by a cop for speeding a couple of times oh and no legal tags.
  20. Do you know your heritage? I know that I have a lot of native american in me and if I had the extra money would do one of those DNA tests from ancestery.com

So that is all for now. Please feel free to answer these questions either all or some yourself if you like. Let me know if you do as I’d love to read your answers. Any questions ask away 🙂

Thoughts of the day

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This journey I am on isn’t easy. I use to have self confidence but low self esteem. Now I feel I have low of both. My new year’s resolution is to find the love for myself.

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I think I did some self destructing at work lately. Tomorrow I meet with my boss we shall see how it goes. I’m letting it ruin my day off worrying about it. Not very loving but a hard habit to break

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I sadly wish I could sleep away my life. It’s just easier that way. I enjoy sleep which I can’t say that about much.

So those are just some random thoughts I’ve had today. Let me know your random thoughts 🙂

Just another random post

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I like this meme and wish it was possible.

My name is Angela and today I decided I really like my name. If I’d been a boy I would have been named Jason.

My oldest turns fifteen today. It makes me feel old and I want him to be a baby again. I also feel blessed he’s a good kid.

I want to move to Dallas Texas but don’t have the funds. I will live there one day!

My ex accepted my friend request and I’m taking your guys advice and letting dogs lie by not reaching out to him. It gives me peace that he appears to have a good life.

I’m starting to wonder if I even have bipolar and am just borderline personality disorder. But the meds are working so then I think it’s just me not accepting it and being in a good place I haven’t been in __ in a long time.

I hope all you beautiful people are having an awesome day 🙂 feel free to share something random below I love hearing from you.

I’ll take it

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I’m proud of myself I stayed away from chips and sweets yesterday even though I was at a work thing and everyone was eating it. It’s a weird how in general I was fine with it but that inner demon who is negative in me kept creeping up and trying to say it bothered me. How do I make him go away? I’m thinking sticking top this healthier eating habit and time will make it better.

My anxiety is kinda high today and not sure why. This week is dragging I’m ready for the weekend. I sent a package top a friend to brighten her day. I could have delivered it but who doesn’t like fun mail? I hope she doesn’t already have what I sent but I don’t think so.

I guess that’s enough randomness 🙂 I’m just staying the course.

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I couldn’t say any of these things better myself. I know not very original but all have truth. I’m kinda blah today but it’s better than I was last night. Thank goodness it’s Friday. I’m ready for the weekend.

Therapy went better this week. He is very uplifting and did a wellness plan with me. I’ve never had one before.

I guess that’s all… Just curious how you all are doing?

Randomness

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I’ve mentioned I suck at self care. I just don’t have the passion for the things I use to do like scrapbooking. I use to have a makeup blog. Hell the only thing I do that could be considered self care is this blog. So maybe I don’t completely suck at it 🙂

I’m finding myself doing things and counting to four over and over. It’s bizarre to me but I can’t help it. I wonder if it means anything.

I have therapy Thursday but I don’t want to go. I feel I owe it to myself to give it one more try. Maybe be honest with him in what I need from therapy. I think I have him the impression I had to do dbt but really I’d be happy with talk therapy. I’m not sure I can be that straight forward.

I actually laughed the other day at auto correct gone wrong. It’s good to know I still can though it wasn’t the tears kind I’ve gotten from those in the past but it was joyous.

Do you have anything random you’d like to share?