Im in panic mode. I have to take a drug test. It makes me paranoid because i have a prescription for klonopin which is a benzo. I know with a script it’s a negative but it’s just the fear they’ll count it as a drug user. Hell it’s their dr who prescribes it. Im beingContinue reading “Panic mode”
I want to join an online healthy lifestyle group. It costs money but is reasonable and has a menu and a different workout every day. Plus a support group. Im scared to fail again and waste money on it. I know this is fatalist thinking and will cause me to fail. Something has to giveContinue reading “Fear”
1. I like that I’m caring. 2. I like that I am a good mom. 3. I like that I try my hardest at this thing called life. 4. I like that I’m coming out of the fog and I’m getting my life back. 5. I like that I’ve lived through some tough things andContinue reading “positives”
I think I take my life for granted. I’m having an existential crisis I think. I’ve been racking my brain trying to think what I can do differently. Really I think I just need to enjoy it more. Have less pity parties and more self kindness. This is a good goal I think.
To bring some positivity back here is five things I like about myself. 1. I try my hardest at everything even when I don’t want to 2. I’m gracious. 3. I’m a good mother 4. I try to treat others as I want to be treated. 5. I make a difference even if it doesn’tContinue reading “Five things”
I’m having a lot of negative self talk this morning. So much for stable. I am trying to counter act my negative self talk with mindfulness. I tell myself that’s not true it’s my hard wired brain trying to stay in the same negative thought patterns. It just makes me wonder why I have toContinue reading “negative self talk”
Things are looking up. I got the loan so yay. I’m getting back on financial track. Though I’m struggling with the issues that got me into trouble. I borrowed money I didn’t have to pay back but it was so easy. My husband is still being a jerk about it all but I’m trying toContinue reading “ahoy positivity”
It looks like the loan will happen. Yay My mood is mixed I feel happy to have this weight off my shoulders but at the same time I’m over analyzing small things like comments people have said to me that were innocent but I’m using them to tell myself how stupid i am and toContinue reading “random thoughts”
This positivity thing is awesome. I got approved for the loan. So I can get back on track by consolidating some debt and have a lower payment. Thank you all who have stuck by me through this crisis and sent prayers and positive thoughts. I feel overjoyed.
I feel good today. My blah has lifted for a little bit. I’m still anxious about a date for when I transfer to my new work place but it’s manageable. I’m trying to enjoy feeling good as it can be fleeting. But in this moment I can smile. This positive attraction thing seems to beContinue reading “And the beat goes on”