I’m always working on myself. I sometimes fail but that’s part of the process. I’ve heard the saying progress not perfection. I’m working on accepting I can’t be perfect. Some days I manage others not so much.
This is going to sound weird but today I’m glad I’m not perfect. I know I go on about my issues with perfection. Today though… In this moment… I understand how boring life would be if it were perfect. Tomorrow I’ll probably feel different but today I am content with imperfection.
I saw my therapist today. We talked about a lot… My marriage… My work… My perfectionism.. My recent suicidal ideation… The idea that feelings aren’t facts… My medication. He gave me the things to work on. The biggest one is to meditate. Ugh… I can’t do it. The thought makes me anxious but then I’veContinue reading “Meditation”
I’m always worried I’ll get into trouble at work. I got a phone call that set my mood from meh to fml. I need to calm down as I’m sure it won’t be a big deal but to me… I see it as not being perfect so it set me off. I want to mentallyContinue reading “Trouble”
Another thing my therapist touched on during my last session was my want to be perfect. He noticed a pattern where I won’t try new things or take the time to clean the house because I can’t make it perfect. He told me being or doing “good enough” is ok. At least I’m doing somethingContinue reading “Good enough”
I like this quote so I wanted to share it. It fits a lot of us perfectly I think. Today my anxiety is right on the tip of my body. It’s like I’m waiting for something bad to happen. I’ve tried to dig deep to find the issue and I think it goes back toContinue reading “Perfection and anxiety”
My number one problem in my mind is this battle of wanting to be perfect and not giving a fuck. I think a lot of my anxiety is wondering what will happen during the day that I will fuck up. It’s silly I’m good at my job and I have good kids. I think thisContinue reading “Perfection”
I am the queen of letting people decide my mood or feelings about myself. It is a complete defect flaw. If I could change anything it would be this. It causes paranoia, flxations, and depression. And no amount of medication seems to subside this except when I was a zombie and didn’t care about anything.Continue reading “For Good or Bad”