negatives

Raves and Rants 050314

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As much as I agree with the above picture. I am bipolar after all. I can’t have even a conversation with myself where I think about my joys and there isn’t a nagging unhappiness thought. When I am in a better space I might challenge myself to the above. I have tried many times and can go a week maybe two but past that… I always FAIL!

But that is probably a whole other post. I do want to focus on some positives with some reality in there. Well my perception of reality. I am bullet pointing them as well I love bullet points 😀

  • I have successfully exercised the last two days with my children
  • I can feel the burn in my behind and back — which isn’t a bad thing but is sore.
  • I only work three days this week due to a state specific holiday on Thursday and taking Friday off
  • I have specific goals I want to accomplish. As usual I am fearful I wont follow through
  • I have recently re connected with a couple friends, It is comforting to know I can be loved.
  • I left my comfort zone and went out in public to a mud run. It was a lot of fun. I want to ride during one!

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  • Come to find out my husband works with a lot of my clients. It will make it hard for me go to the social things he wants to go with.
  • I am making new friends myself here locally, One is more of a business friendship and the other is a lady younger than me who reminds me of myself at 20.
  • I’m not twenty.,, ok that one is more tongue in cheek but at the same time  I do wish I had ome some things differently.
  • I told my husband some darkness in my head and he didn;t know what to say so he yelled at me. I bawled my eyes out which of course softened his hard and he stopped yell lecture me about what I Need to do to be thinner and not knowing why my mind is so backwards.
  • He did after we both calmed down make great points. He said I spend too much time giving all my light to other people and I keep all the dark to myself. It was a great ah ha point. He said it’s great that I am so caring and loving but I need to quit being this nice person, I need to be 50/50 and let myself have some of that light. Wow. I need more self analysis of this for sure.

And I do want to leave on a fun note. I have tentatively started a youtube beauty channel.  My thinking is to help it supplement that blog. Here is a little blooper reel. I know most of us stay private for good reasons and I probably should with my job but I have chose not too. I had a private blog and it served a good purpose so I completely RESPECT that choice. The freedom of not being anon has it;s regrets and its rewards … ok off my over thinking this not serious video. Someone commented I am too hard on myself and I am. That is probably some of that light and dark stuff huh?

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