Turn back Tuesday: Fighting sensitivity.

I was looking at drafts on my blog and found this snippet from ten months ago. Other than the last two days, and making a new friend. I feel not much bright spots in life. I’m so sensitive and paranoid about everything people do or say. I’m back to pre mood stabilizer I think. Then

Hate

I’m struggling right now. I have a lot of hate in my heart. I hate my marriage. I hate my job. I hate my disorders. I hate me. I do love my children they are what keeps me together. I just want to bang the normal into my head. comments, questions, random thoughts leave below

It’s so dark

All I want to do is lie in bed and cry this is one of the worst depressions I’ve had for a long while. If course last week looking back I had one of the worst hypo manias I’ve had in awhile … dyed my hair in my own … before that got angry with

The phrase of the day is…

I don’t give a fuck! I’m sure everyone who happens to read this blog (hugs to you all ♥ You are appreciated) I’m on a downward spiral i feel it. I’m completely going through the motions but i know I’m a ticking time bomb. Today i no longer feel I’m the moron but every body

Moron

I keep saying this word over and over to myself this morning. It is on some infinite loop and I’m not sure how to stop it. Included with the name calling is dialogue to support this label. The list is too embarrassing to share. But in reality probably not. I am positive it is a

Depressed and Angry or Hypomania and Angry?

Starting yesterday I felt a switch in my brain. Depression. I am filled with hatred at the world and everything in it…. including myself. It is confusing as hypo mania shows as anger as well. I am trying to have mindfulness of knowing which side of the pendelum I am on. I do think it

Blah Blah blah

I am having a horrible needy unproductive though i have deadlines day.  I am emotionally inwardly a wreck. I want to binge eat my pain away and thankfully I’m all outta snacks at work. Plus is so far i have resisted going to the vending machine. I want a life that doesn’t or never will

I have Bi Polar II

So I left off the other day talking about how I am on the brink of a nervous breakdown. I talked with my psychiatrist and made him get me some kind of help. It is amazing how at first it was like they didn’t want to do anything for me. His nurse told me to

I am continually one day away from a nervous breakdown

And no matter who I ask to help me in the mental health field they act like they can’t. I have been struggling with this since I was 14 years old. I am 37 and ready to be done with the struggle. I know there isn’t a cure but there has to be some kind