mental health awareness

Numb

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I’ve been so disinterested in everything. I think it’s the meds. I’m either numb or anxious worry too much. I know it’s affecting my job and I hate it. I want some of me back. I use to be somewhat happy now I’m nothing. Just tired all the time. I need back in the swing of things. I’m just so lost.

Merry everything

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What ever you celebrate today may it be blessed.

comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!

Regrets I have a few

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Or a different title… Angela why are you a fuck up? This is a post you could say is pensive or whiny depending on your mood or interpretation.

Why do I make choices I know are bad for me?

Why do I lie to myself about my intentions?

Why do I make those choices then regret them and feel poorly about myself?

I know this is vague but really the choices I make that are poor are often mundane things I let eat at me. Some are huge and I know I will regret them but still. I make them, WHen I was eighteen I always said I was going to make choice in life and have no regrets, HA what a childish joke. I use to live so fearlessly. Where is that person now? Where is that girl who could be outrageous and not feel anxious the person will hate her for being herself,

All I am now is one anxiety ball that I created myself. I am such bullshit. Fuck me and my shitty ass choices. It’s time to buckle up buttercup and care more for yourself so you can forgive (see that what I did there??? you’d know if you read my last post πŸ˜€ Β ) your past and embrace your future.

Busy week

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I had a busy week which was mostly non emotional. With that being said… I think my medication is masking a deep depression. I have been sleeping a ton. I’ve been coming home and laying down to rest my eyes and before I know it my alarm goes off. Last night I fell asleep on the couch. Ugh. I am not sure what to do about it.Anyway that is an update for me. Short and sweet or short and Meh πŸ˜€

One Lovely Blog Award

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Who doesn’t love awards? The very lovely bipolarallie nominated me for the One Lovely log Award. Thank you I am honored.

Here are the rules:

  1. Thank and link back to the person who nominated you
  2. List the rules and display the award
  3. Include seven facts about yourself
  4. Nominate 10-15 Β other bloggers and let them know about the award by commenting on their blog
  5. Follow the blogger who nominated you (if not already!)

Ummm facts about me…

1) I just got a new to me Doggie — a Shih Tzu named Punky. She snores so cute.

2) I asked my oldest if he wanted a FB page and he said no too much drama. Proud Momma moment πŸ˜€

3) I love texas hold em.

4) I am currently binge watching Sons of Anarchy

5) As a child I was in love with Harry from night court I always have been into older men.

6) I am way too into vaping here recently.I wish I could vape while I was working (Obsessive much?)

7) I can’t wait for the Fifty Shades Of Grey movie to come out.

My nominations are…

Bipolar Barbie-Q

Prince Charming isnt here

a single parents life

BPnurse

Take a ride on my mood swing

A Bipolars reality

Life in a bind

journalling through depression

can’t medicate life

bipolar unemployed & lost

Hope everyone checks out these other blogs. THanks for checking my blog out too πŸ˜€

Blurred life

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This is often what anxiety feels like to me. Life blurring and whirling around me. I can’t make it stop. The klonopone calls it or masks it but it’s still laying there in my mind. I had a birthday yesterday. I’m 38. I’ve decided this year is about calm finding in these blurred swirling mind moments.

On a side note my birthday was meh. The only real highlight was playing black Jack and Texas hold em with my boys. Oh and I allowed myself some sweat tea vodka πŸ™‚

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Hope everyone out there is doing well and fell free to share what anxiety feels like for you below.

comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!