Just when i wonder

Sometimes i wonder if I’m bipolar as i don’t get manic very often. I feel the switch in my brain right now where i can tell if i wasn’t on abilify I’d be all over the place. Right now i just feel restless and hypersexual. I want to hug on people and feel their skin.

Thank you

The interview went really well. I hope to know in the next two weeks. Fingers crossed. Other than that i still feel a little mixed. It’s manageable though so that’s a plus. I’m trying to accept things for what they are. I do think some things are worth fighting for but you have to choose

Oh shit

I think I’m manic. I just spent a lot of money and i don’t care other then to journal here. I honestly kept trying to talk myself out of it with no luck. I think I’m done now though. Plus i ran out of money to pay bills. I feel numb to it. I was

Tomorrow

We go for my middle son’s MRI and cancer check. We have to travel three hours away so positive vibes and prayers for safe travels and more importantly that my son’s cancer hasn’t grown. I’m foolishly going with my ex and his girlfriend in the same car. My parents think it’s a bad idea and

Dare I say it?

I feel happy. It feels weird and not a manic happy either. A true I love myself for me and I love those around me genuinely. Thank you all for sticking by me. I pray it doesn’t get that dark again soon if ever. I knew my antidepressant wasn’t working but seven days on lexapro

Feeling a little manic

I realize a moment ago I might be going hypomanic. I have this urge to cut off all my hair and get kittens. The crux of it all is how do I tell if this is just normal silliness or actual mental illness? I also feel slightly agitated and of course love myself. All telling

Feelings

I’m feeling something buried that won’t come to the surface. I want to eat my feelings and spend money… Be destructive to my well being. It’s not mania there is no sexual element. But maybe for me there doesn’t have to be just usually there is. Just when life was going good… Sigh

manic

I think I’m hypo manic. I feel hyper sexual and my self esteem is solid. I feel giddy and a little self destructive. Lord knows what I would be doing if I didn’t have my meds to take the edge off. I do like this feeling I must say. I see why people choose to

I aim to inspire

This meme is why I write this blog. It’s a creative outlet for me too. I work out my issues as well. I’m so thankful to have this community. On a mood note… I feel stabilized today. I’m trying to sit in it and enjoy it. Try not to over think anything and just feel

Not good enough

Being on call aggravates my perfectionism at work. It then triggers me to be cranky at home. I don’t take instructions well… Like being asked a simple request… say to put away my dirty dinner plate. It shouldn’t be something personal. But I make it that way. Then I want to binge eat on anything