Old thought patterns

I just can’t leave things well enough alone. I’m searching for something anything to feel alive and yet I know just living is enough right? Doing my best always trying to be a better me. Interacting with people and making friends comes with a lot of expectations I place on myself. I enjoy having theContinue reading “Old thought patterns”

What does i love you really mean

I dated for several months years ago a family friend i grew up with. It was long distance and frankly i was a mess mentally and he is an alcoholic. I love him dearly but i wasn’t in a place to peacefully go from on alcoholic relationship to another. I guess you really shouldn’t beContinue reading “What does i love you really mean”

#blogtober20 the one i love

So most people are writing about a partner but i want to write about why i love myself. I am caring, kind, a team player, loving, smart enough, and beautiful. It’s hard to feel those things most days but recently I’ve had a succession of decent days so it’s easy to love myself. I needContinue reading “#blogtober20 the one i love”

Dirty dancing

I just watched dirty dancing for the millionth time. It is in my top five movies. It makes me wonder if in real life baby and johnny are still together. Lol Seriously though… i think movies have made realistic romance not good enough. Does anyone else feel that way? Has it set me up forContinue reading “Dirty dancing”

Grateful heart

Today is better. I found out today im getting a good size pay raise. I had a guardian angel looking out for me yesterday because if I’d went to a store before going to another first i could have been where a semi truck busted through the building. My cpap is getting me better sleepContinue reading “Grateful heart”

December 8 2019

Please listen to this song. I think most people struggle with finding or sustaining love. I know i do. I just don’t know if i can love someone else when i struggle with loving myself. I want to but silly romantic movies and my past paint different pictures and screws up my expectations. Have youContinue reading “December 8 2019”

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