I woke up cranky and anxious. Not sure why as it’s the weekend after all. My guess is it’s grocery shopping day and clean house day and I’m not feeling it.
I’ve been complaining about my dreams and last night was a good one. I want lost in it forever. It played out like a movie. I’d tell you about it but I can’t translate the images into words.
Why do dogs like their bellies rubbed so much? I want to find something that gives me so much joy.
I started falling back sleep writing this… It’s going to be a long day!
My dreams this last two weeks have been vivid as hell and they are fun. No wonder I want to sleep all the time. I wish I remembered them well enough to describe them but I just remember not wanting to wake from them. Though last night’s I remember had me trying on all kinds of sexy shoes lol.
My ideation has subsided so that’s a plus. It is the weekend though so I think that helps. This sign makes a good point but sometimes in the grip of despair it seems like nothing will get better. I know that feeling and it’s scary.
I think I’m going to try and remember as many dreams as possible and write about them. Maybe there is a theme. This one seemed to be about having to be assertive. I was working my job boring stuff then a group of us had to decide on a birthday party and what we were going to do. I put my foot down and the party remained simple. Then later I was pregnant and a model (bahaha I wish) and some other models were making fun of my friends. I got all up in their faces totally pregnant lol kinda funny. Lol
Last night and when I feel asleep again this morning I kept dreaming about a certain person. I like dreaming about the person but it was full of anxiety and being late to work and Mennonites and a scary roller coaster. I did a lot of walking too. Wish that worked for real life exercise bahaha 🙂 anyway does anyone else have vivid dreams you can go back to after being awake? I wish I could interpret dreams though I think I know the core of this one. It still doesn’t help.
On a random note I want this tattoo just not sure of placement. It’s the prettiest anchor one I have seen.
I made this Instagram Textgram a it is weighing heavy on my mind. I just can’t shake the realness of the dream and the disappointment it was a dream. It just reminded me if past regretfully decisions and how one it is made you can’t go back. Choices made at 20 will haunt once in awhile your future either with hard regret or subconscious seepage regret. Sigh… Just wish the hug in my dream want so fucking real. I could really use that kind of hug. 😦
What regrets do you have? Any comments or questions add below.
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I believe I am great at my job. I think though not perfect mom I do a great job at being the best I am capable of. Which in my line of work I can judge that with professional confidence. Lol
Now I am not confident in my perceptions of my self. Physically with my weight gain and emotionally as I am less self absorbed and more self aware. Normally a plus it can cause anxiety waiting for the change or improvement to solidify.
I also need to grow my confidence in following my dream of being a makeup artist and photographer. I need to stay focused as good things are given it takes hard work right?
Please share your confidence positives and struggles below.