Melancholy

This was the view of the sunset from my backyard last night. It was finally a low humidity night. I’m feeling melancholy. These days off make me long for the the freedom of when I was laid off from Citigroup after the mortgage industry crashed. I was a hundred pounds lighter, a millions pounds ofContinue reading “Melancholy”

Pdoc update and life @@trigger alert

Pdoc kept meds the same. I’m wanting to self harm. I don’t understand these urges but I ask thankful I’m in a house full of people. I had a couple things happen today to emotionally spiral me. I’m traveling with family and the people we are starting with are super uptight. I just want toContinue reading “Pdoc update and life @@trigger alert”

Like a light switch

I felt it about eight yesterday. I flipped from hypo/neutral to anxiety/depression. I’m sure I’ve always had the switches but it so fascinating to me to decipher them. I think I’m getting good at recognizing but still need a ton of help coping with them.did so well with food yesterday until the depression swooped in.Continue reading “Like a light switch”

Like a light switch

I felt it about eight yesterday. I flipped from hypo/neutral to anxiety/depression. I’m sure I’ve always had the switches but it so fascinating to me to decipher them. I think I’m getting good at recognizing but still need a ton of help coping with them.did so well with food yesterday until the depression swooped in.Continue reading “Like a light switch”

I almost think I like depression better

My food issues are no better in hypo mode. I’m more sensitive in between being hyper sexual, no off button, and wanting to spend money galore. I got my first hater comment in my beauty blog. Does that mean I’m becoming someone. The person said I was whiney and negative Nancy.which I was so IContinue reading “I almost think I like depression better”

I can really tell I am in a weird disjointed hypo mania state. All day I have been funny and energetic and hyper sexual. Then I realized it was not due to my awesome personality but a switch in my brain. I still feel those ways but with an undercurrent of dread and sadness thatContinue reading

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