My spirit

This week has been hell. My mental wellness has been in tatters. I keep thinking I could have handled things differently. I honestly don’t know how though. I don’t have the tools when things really get into my head to pull away. Mindfulness was gone… Trying to think of a calming sea shore gone. ItContinue reading “My spirit”

Page of cups

I’m anxious as my brother in law I dislike is coming for a visit. I dislike him for a number of reasons… He had hit on me… Tried to sure us… And is frankly a degenerate. I don’t say this about many people I promise. I’m a social worker I see value in all flawedContinue reading “Page of cups”

Yes Justin beiber

This song reminds me of being in a relationship with a bipolar or borderline personality person. I’m know I give mixed signals too often but not sure how to change it. I suppose just plugging away at mindful thinking will help. On another note I went to therapy yesterday and we talked about my wantingContinue reading “Yes Justin beiber”

Ode to Joy: first edition

My misdiagnosed illness has always left me being negative when i firmly believe my core personality is positivity. Now that the meds have improved my mind clutter i can see joy were before there was either a boundless pit or a fool chaotic mess.  My middle son these last few days has tested my abilityContinue reading “Ode to Joy: first edition”

Depression

  I am fighting off a major bout of depression. I have increasing sensations and thoughts of my usual coping mechanism and it makes it hard to hide it too often. I feel lonely and hopeless and stuck in this rut of mediocrity I do not want to be part of. I know I amContinue reading “Depression”

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my life, my thoughts, my ideas, my journey

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