What was decided

I agreed with those that said to look at my posts to how unhappy i am. And the other supportive comments… I think it was good feedback with that said I’m staying at my current job. I just don’t think I’d be any happier in the other position. It would be working with boys who

Life is hard

My son broke up with his girlfriend today. I worry about him as he has suicidal ideation that can turn to more I’m scared. We make choices and they suck and are hard but he had a list of things wrong in the relationship that was extensive. He says he feels dead inside. I know

Choice

I use to be very angry and bitter that i have a mental illness. Now i have the occasional pity party but over all I’ve grieved and accepted it. I say that on a good day but i think it rings true. I do think some things are left to fate but the majority is

Be the shit

Karma is a bitch. I try to live by the golden rule. Yet sometimes we shit on someone we didn’t mean to. I can’t think of a time i did it on purpose but I’m sure there had been. I use to do such devilish things. I’m sitting here having flashes of my past and

Dear self in 2019

I start back tomorrow to my old job that was so stressful but I have the hindsight to appreciate it. I just pray I’m in a better headspace to handle the chaos. I need the stability and benefits it gave me. I must say I feel good in my choice to come back. No waffling.

featured post

I did a guest spot on young and twenty. Check out the link to what I wrote if you don’t mind. It’s uplifting 🙂 I promise.

Choices not chosen

I don’t necessarily feel bipolar is an illness. I like the term disorder better. Anyway the feel of this meme is felt. No one choices this. I didn’t choose to be different and chemically unbalanced. I didn’t choose to be over sensitive and hold things from ten years ago against myself. Or lose myself in

Vogue

That sums it up. I do this all the time make a choice then regret it. Why in the moment it seems like a good idea? Looks like it’s another klonopine kind of night.

Misery loves company

I didn’t realize how unhappy I am until yesterday. I had wishes for misery on another person. Not really wishes I guess but more that I wasn’t alone in mine. She was talking about her life and unhappiness and I liked it. I feel so ashamed but it’s the truth. So I am doubly unhappy

Explain this

The truth of the matter is I couldn’t explain if I wanted too. I’m grade a fucked up. I need therapy but use limited doctors and time as an excuse. I’m not happy with myself and my choices here lately. I can’t seem to make a choice really. I’m all over the place. Wha wha