Happy birthday to me

I woke up feeling strange. I’m excited for my birthday yet I’m full of fears today. Death Failure Loneliness To name three. I look back at my life with a grateful heart. Yet I can’t shrug the fears. Thankfully today I should be busy at work. Let the birthday fun commence. Lol

Happy birthday to me

I went out last night and had an awesome time. I like getting a bit of a life back. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow as I wish it was Wednesday already. I discovered a new favorite tv show on Netflix izombie. So been chilling watching it. Overall is been a great weekend.

Realization

I’ve been doing some introspection about why I’m depressed. I think I’ve figured out what has triggered it. First my birthday is Sunday. The last year I’ll be in my thirties. I’m more poor and messed up then I was in my twenties. Job wise though I’m more fulfilled. My children are getting older and

Self esteem

I’m having anxiety over next weekend. I’m suppose to go out with my friends for my birthday. I haven’t went out dancing in over two years and easily fifty pounds lighter. All I can think of is how drunk I need to get to not care that I won’t be hit on. Is that stupid?

Just another random post

I like this meme and wish it was possible. My name is Angela and today I decided I really like my name. If I’d been a boy I would have been named Jason. My oldest turns fifteen today. It makes me feel old and I want him to be a baby again. I also feel

Blurred life

This is often what anxiety feels like to me. Life blurring and whirling around me. I can’t make it stop. The klonopone calls it or masks it but it’s still laying there in my mind. I had a birthday yesterday. I’m 38. I’ve decided this year is about calm finding in these blurred swirling mind

And yes fun was had by me at least

On my birthday. This is picture heavy so I hope you enjoy All the above are from the dinner date with Hubby. He took me to his work to “show me off” and I had a couple drinks. One was diet coke with Evan Williams Cherry Whiskey. It was ggggoooodddd! Then I mentioned it was