Just Believe

  As I continue to mood swing and hate myself. I am working on improving my health overall. My Dad offered to pay for two months of nutrisystem for me and him. I am extremely grateful. I want to feel healthier. This first week is a total detox. No fruit or pre paid desserts etc.Continue reading “Just Believe”

Pdoc day ~~ possible triggers

And off course I wake up depressed with suicidal ideation.I want to tell her but afraid if I do since active she will compete me to a state run place when I have good insurance.plus bad timing as I am interviewing for a promotion (I’ll get into that deal another day… like after I’m turnedContinue reading “Pdoc day ~~ possible triggers”

This is me right now

But how do I make it worth it? I swing between passion and self doubt. I go back to see my new pdoc tomorrow for med check. I feel something needs adjusted because I can still feel major blocks of weeks where my mood changes. Right now again klonipone is my best friend. That isContinue reading “This is me right now”

The phrase of the day is…

I don’t give a fuck! I’m sure everyone who happens to read this blog (hugs to you all ♥ You are appreciated) I’m on a downward spiral i feel it. I’m completely going through the motions but i know I’m a ticking time bomb. Today i no longer feel I’m the moron but every bodyContinue reading “The phrase of the day is…”

Depressed and Angry or Hypomania and Angry?

Starting yesterday I felt a switch in my brain. Depression. I am filled with hatred at the world and everything in it…. including myself. It is confusing as hypo mania shows as anger as well. I am trying to have mindfulness of knowing which side of the pendelum I am on. I do think itContinue reading “Depressed and Angry or Hypomania and Angry?”

Blah Blah blah

I am having a horrible needy unproductive though i have deadlines day.  I am emotionally inwardly a wreck. I want to binge eat my pain away and thankfully I’m all outta snacks at work. Plus is so far i have resisted going to the vending machine. I want a life that doesn’t or never willContinue reading “Blah Blah blah”

Raves and Rants 050314

As much as I agree with the above picture. I am bipolar after all. I can’t have even a conversation with myself where I think about my joys and there isn’t a nagging unhappiness thought. When I am in a better space I might challenge myself to the above. I have tried many times andContinue reading “Raves and Rants 050314”

May 2014 — Mental Health Awareness month

MHM 2014 – Mind Your Health Poster Calendar   Grrrr I wanted the link above to be a picture within the post. It won’t but if you click on the link it will bring up a calendar created by Mental Health America Today we are to pick out a class to take. Well where IContinue reading “May 2014 — Mental Health Awareness month”

Black Box — My thoughts.

  I was going through my blogroll and came upon a commentary on the above new TV show,  A Bipolars Reality’s can be found here. I have not read it yet as I didn’t want it to sway my thoughts. I will when I have posted this. I have decided for the sake of keepingContinue reading “Black Box — My thoughts.”

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