I made this art piece for my parents yesterday
Also here is a picture of me and parents when I was about six
I wish I was that little again. Life was similar. Now I’m older and today I feel broken. Or maybe more so defeated. I’ve had suicidal ideation which I haven’t had in a couple of weeks. What a nice break that was. My birthday is in two days. I want anxious about until right now. We all have to get older right?
How telling do you think dreams are? Last night I had a vivid dream and it stated what in my dream was my biggest regret in life. I’ve never consciously thought this was my biggest regret but I can see it now. I’m trying not to obsess over it as I can’t change it.
My youngest two are at there dad’s. They haven’t seen him in months. I’m anxious about what they are doing and what will be said. Again not trying to obsess.
I’m thinking about doing some work from home but am stuck between not giving a fuck and worried about how much I need to do. The thought of working is dreadful to me.
I’m also thinking of going to our huge nature park and walking around. I think it’ll do me good but my boyfriend is sleeping as he works nights and I feel lost going without him.
I bought a new coloring set. Not that I needed it. I’m thinking of putting on some meditative music and coloring. I also have an idea for some art I want to make for my parents. I have options at least.
I made this painting this weekend in a class. The photo below is what it was suppose to look like.
Hahaha what a difference. It’s horrible but I’m proud of it and I went out and socialized and spent time with my mother.
We also went swimming and boating. It was a busy weekend and I liked it. Next weekend should be just as busy with family coming in for the holiday. I plan on taking some time off. I deserve it 🙂 plus besides Christmas this is my favorite holiday.
What did you guys do this weekend?
I’m depressed and tired of all the negativity I place on this blog. Most is necessary to make it through the day but today I chose different.
Here is a list of positives in my life
# my children
#my husband who really tries to be supportive
# I make a good wage
# I’m making a great support group through this blog
# I’m about to go on a dream vacation
# the weather
# I’m a survivor
That’s a pretty good list I think 🙂
Please share yours.
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