Randomness pure and simple

I think i might have forgotten to tell you my car broke down this weekend. Though i am not thankful for the money to put into the heap i am thankful it worked Friday when i went to clients houses. I’m thankful i signed up for triple aaa just in time to forgo the cost

I get caught up

These two pictures say a lot. I’ve often went on about how others have a better life then me but do they really? I’ve created the negativity and drama of wanting a different life that i will never get. I know i have to live through mental health issues and right now for the most

Hi there

It’s been a day without blogging. So i thought I’d come on here and chat a little. I feel stable which is a mix of happy and blah. I am plugging along and trying to stay positive. I got my second dose of the covid vaccine and i feel ok health wise. No fever or

What was decided

I agreed with those that said to look at my posts to how unhappy i am. And the other supportive comments… I think it was good feedback with that said I’m staying at my current job. I just don’t think I’d be any happier in the other position. It would be working with boys who

What to do…

I got the other job but i went to put in my two weeks notice and my boss asked me to reconsider. She says i do a great job and should stick it out. Frankly i don’t know if i can afford the pay cut at the other place. I told her I’d think about

It’s all relative

I don’t know what i feel. I’m ok i guess. Got through the day now just relaxing. I feel like i want to sleep my life away yet am looking forward to the future. I think we need to give all of us grace. Life is hard and with mental health issues it just gets

What if

I woke up one day and actually did all the things i wanted to do like exercise and eat healthy… journal and cleaned my house. What a miracle that’d be. In a perfect world right? I do good with what i have though… i need to give myself some credit. I go to work …

Paralyzed

I feel paralyzed in fear of my brain. I don’t get anything done and i haven’t taken a shower in several days. I know if it wasn’t for the meds I’d be in full depression mode. It’s weird though i feel split in two… perfectly fine and blatantly miserable. If i thought 2021 was going

Tw: Death

I’m sitting here thinking about death. I never want to die im scared of it. To not exist is scary. I keep thinking what if i don’t wake up in the morning? Why do i have these thoughts and fears? More so why do i get suicidal when i know i don’t want to die.

Conundrum

I pretty much have a guaranteed new job but it’s a large pay cut. It would be 3-12 hour shifts overnight mentoring and/ or watching troubled youth. I did a similar job ten years ago but the place shut down. I’d also do a Saturday shift every other weekend. As usual I’m not sure i