We are back from the hospital. It’s a three hour drive because the care where we live is horrible and the don’t do pediatrics. Anyway… The tumor is stable so six more months another mri. Though in hindsight I wonder if it didn’t grow a little more because we use to do them yearly. IContinue reading “My son”
I’m feeling insecure which is giving me dark thoughts. I hate being mentally ill. I want to be fixed.
My oldest son made a comment on something innocent and now I’m obsessed about it. He didn’t know or mean to set my obsessive thoughts off and I didn’t tell him he did. No need to burden him with my reality. Why do we do this though? And how do I learn to let itContinue reading “Taking things personal”
I went out last night and had an awesome time. I like getting a bit of a life back. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow as I wish it was Wednesday already. I discovered a new favorite tv show on Netflix izombie. So been chilling watching it. Overall is been a great weekend.Continue reading “Happy birthday to me”
The last couple days have been good. Low anxiety and I’ve accomplished a lot. So I saw this writing prompt and thought I’d use it today. I’m not going to do ten things I’m grateful for but five… My children, my job, the friends I do have, my husband, and this blogging community. The perfectContinue reading “Writing prompt”
I’ve been doing some introspection about why I’m depressed. I think I’ve figured out what has triggered it. First my birthday is Sunday. The last year I’ll be in my thirties. I’m more poor and messed up then I was in my twenties. Job wise though I’m more fulfilled. My children are getting older andContinue reading “Realization”
I like this quote so I wanted to share it. It fits a lot of us perfectly I think. Today my anxiety is right on the tip of my body. It’s like I’m waiting for something bad to happen. I’ve tried to dig deep to find the issue and I think it goes back toContinue reading “Perfection and anxiety”
I totally need to work continually on mindfulness. I realized in therapy I’m getting better at it. So that’s a good thing. I have a stressful meeting in an hour. I’m not sure how it will go but I have my ducks in a row as much as I can. I’m trying to be mindfulContinue reading “Live for the now”
I was having a decent day until a round of text messages. Now I’m annoyed and anxious. And right before bedtime. Grrr why can’t a conversation just be that? Why can’t I take it at face value without dissecting and turning it into an ordeal in my mind. I know I’m whining but I feelContinue reading “Today was a day until it wasn’t”
I hate having to take medicine but I know it helps. The key is to find the right cocktail. I have to remind myself the medical profession is a science not a black and white thing. But still I hate not being able to be “cured”.