I feel the darkness closing in. I almost took myself to the hospital but that would just make matters worse. I’m stronger than the darkness damn it. Though is difficult and feels like it is engulfing me. I got a frivolous movie to watch and some wine. I know drinking isn’t good for us butContinue reading “Darkness”
I’m always worried I’ll get into trouble at work. I got a phone call that set my mood from meh to fml. I need to calm down as I’m sure it won’t be a big deal but to me… I see it as not being perfect so it set me off. I want to mentallyContinue reading “Trouble”
I feel in a rut. The only thing I look forward to is sleep. I’m not even excited for the holidays. Maybe because money is tight. But Christmas use to be my favorite holiday and I feel joyless. I had to skip therapy this week for a work thing. I like my therapist as heContinue reading “Today’s emotion… Meh”
I woke up this morning thinking of a past situation. I realized I was being silly even thinking about it. I’m sure that person doesn’t think of me. Why do our minds belabor the past? Then I about had a panic attack on the way to work. I had to take some medicine to calmContinue reading “Always thinking”
I heard today is write your ephitat (spelling?) Day. I want mine to be simple… Beloved mother who made me smile. What would yours be?
I want to be one of these people to be admired. Things the last two days have been even keeled so not much to blog about. Hope you all are well.
I have been trying to stay positive but today it just isn’t working. I’m worried about work things and some drama. It’s got me worked up anxiety wise since I haven’t heard back from my boss about the situation. I’m hoping writing this vague post will help. I don’t want to take my anxiety medsContinue reading “Crap day with a side of I love you”
Another thing my therapist touched on during my last session was my want to be perfect. He noticed a pattern where I won’t try new things or take the time to clean the house because I can’t make it perfect. He told me being or doing “good enough” is ok. At least I’m doing somethingContinue reading “Good enough”
Today I’m working on self acceptance. It’s going ok. I accept I’m overweight because of the food choices I make. And I accept I have a mental disorder that will be with me for life. I accept I say stupid things and regret them later. I accept I will never be perfect. It’s all okContinue reading “Today I accept”
I don’t know what I’m feeling. Or rather I feel like a jumble of emotions. It’s hard enough to deal with one emotion let alone a bunch. Is this a mixed state? I don’t feel self destructive but feel sad and happy at same time. It’s weird. A little anxiety in there too and feelingContinue reading “Feelings”