These four days off have gone quick. I feel i need to hold on to today and make it last forever. That of course is impossible. I’m doing OK aside from the worry about my job. It’s like I’m a masochist my mind goes there even when I’m not thinking. I just want to beContinue reading “Quick”
My boyfriend is going home a day early. I can’t help but feel it’s cuz I’m boring. Then there is the worrying i can’t seem to stop about work. I feel like a failure as I’m not meeting production. Then there is my son who’s just too much like his dad and my mom who’sContinue reading “Today is not a good day in my mind”
Third day on latuda and i feel good. It could be that it’s a four day weekend though. I’m having some rumination but meds don’t fix everything. I have to work through the rest.
Today I’m focusing on the good i have in my life. I had an awesome feast for lunch I started 20mg of my new med last night My boyfriend is here to visit. My children and parents are healthy enough I currently have a job I have a home I know there is more butContinue reading “Happy Thanksgiving”
The anxiety is back. I just want to curl up and sleep this feeling away. I feel inadequate and out of touch. I took some medicine i hope it helps. Yesterday i cared too little and today i care too much. I can’t find an even keel. God help me i can’t do this alone.
I thought i did well last week work wise then today found out I’m short on some productivity. It is what it is… is my take on it today. Ask me when i get written up. Overall my day has went fast so a big plus. Now i just wait to make one more phoneContinue reading “Well fudge”
Yes I am back again lol I feel so restless yet can’t find anything motivating to do. What i really want to do is have a friend to talk to but I don’t have friends like that I can just call and talk to. I also want to play in a sticker book and makeContinue reading “Restless”
I wonder how many bridges I’ve burned in my small town work wise. I see my old job has a couple openings and i debated but then i realized it was giving me anxiety and ideation talk… that had to be a mental health sign. I do try to learn from my mistakes. I feelContinue reading “Desperation”
Today has been interesting. I slept to ten. Had some coffee then slept some more. Then got up cleaned enough to feel semi accomplished went to grocery store and am now waiting for pizza boats to be done. I feel in the middle… not great… not bad. And a little better than just existing. SoContinue reading “Today 112220”
Down to ten mg of abilify versus 30. In four days I’ll start the latuda. I have too many thoughts in my head. I want to do all the things with no gumption to do any. I thought I’d feel erratic coming off the meds and maybe i am but i just don’t see it.Continue reading “Too many thoughts”