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The sky is falling

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My job with the covid19 virus has really stream lined how we do things. I’ll be working from home a lot with not a lot to do. Im trying to not take anything personal but im just finding it hard to let people not letting me help go despite not knowing really what to do anyway. So i should see it as a blessing.

Life is legit scary right now with the virus going on and then our economy possibly taking a huge hit because of it. I just don’t know how to feel about it all. Hope you all are protected and safe.

Holding steady

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I wish i could take a two week vacation without using my vacation time. I don’t feel depressed but i just wish this covid19 stuff would go away. Of course it won’t. At least im not having to worry about a paycheck. During these times i feel steady i also feel im missing something. Life will go on this is the beauty of it all right?

What’s you sign?

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I am a libra and what this says is true for me. Is it true for you?

Today is forever

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Im in an even mood today. Thankfully… but it’s been a forever kind of day. I’m just so over being on call. Im waiting for a worker to call me to staff their cases. So far I’ve done dishes, a load of laundry, and made brownies. I usually would take a nap but that is when i would get a call. I know there is more i could do i just need to make a point of it.

So cranky

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I feel overwhelmed with this covid-19 stuff and being on call for work. It’s got me beyond cranky. Im crawling out of my skin. I hate it. I’m tired of being tired. Im tired of my disorganized home. Im tired of everything. Im tired of me.

Dear God

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This song is running through my head with the pandemic coming on. I do believe in God and oddly find it his choice if i live or die. Yet it’s so arbitrary. Im not feeling panicked to get the virus just the dying part. I always don’t understand why i get suicidal when i have a huge fear of dying. I sit here starting to freak out over it all. But what good does that do? Ugh… im not even looking forward to the weekend as im on call. Fml.

Existing

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I don’t want to be here. I just want to be in bed sleeping my life away but that’s no way to live. I will muddle through. I always do but honestly it’s a painful thing. Just breathing feels difficult.