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Watch “Stephen Fry – The Secret Life Of The Manic Depres…” on YouTube

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Great honest resource

blahpolar

Stephen Fry – The Secret Life Of The Manic Depres…: http://youtu.be/uj8hqXd7N_A

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Melancholy

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This was the view of the sunset from my backyard last night. It was finally a low humidity night.

I’m feeling melancholy. These days off make me long for the the freedom of when I was laid off from Citigroup after the mortgage industry crashed. I was a hundred pounds lighter, a millions pounds of stress lighter, and the whole world in front of me. It’s silly to wish for the past but here I am obsessing.

Someone please save me from myself 😦

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What to do with me

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Make me colorful please

I am in this weird place. THe meds are working for the hypos but not the depression. I miss the hypos as I gave a shit and I loved myself. Now I just want to do nothing … not even blog and wallow. My ambition is gone my joy of life is gone except one unhealthy area that I am addicted to (btw not anything illegal) stupid not anonymous blog that i can’t tell you guys about it.

The new position I took will be less anxiety but right now I am in full anxiety mode. It is starting to calm down. But I still feel overwhelmed. Gah! I am sure a lot of this is self induced but I don’t care to change it. When I am in it in I am enjoying it and there is nothing more calming. This is how I know things are such bad choices. My mind is scattered which is probably not unusual but its getting on my last nerve. Well I guess that is my life right now. I wanted to change the world and I can’t even change myself.

I’m trying

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I hope this meme ids true. I feel at a wondering lost crossroads between complacent paranoia and a desire for different. Does that when make sense?

How do you make decisions? It’s hard to know what’s right sometimes. Sigh

comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!

Worry Wednesday

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I’m highly paranoid as this passive aggressive prick mumbled something under his breath. It sounded like… any good get stolen… I have good issues I can’t say I haven’t taken candy or more then my share but I don’t “steal” from people I don’t know. So now I’m in full freak out mode as to why he said that and fearful of the answer if I ask. He’s a supervisor so I won’t anyway but still.

Even in what should be less stress I feel more stress with pricks like that.

comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!

Bored

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Tomorrow I transfer to a supposedly known to be less job in the county over from mine. It has mostly perks but I’ve draw back… the drive home. I will like the drive there. I already know this as I’ve had a similar drive before. Today has become very boring due to all this and forever. Nothing good on tv I’m bored just on the edge of depression. I can feel it sitting there waiting.

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comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!

Hugs

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comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!