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Inspiration and a little bit of a women crush

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I discovered a youtube channel called Nina Unrated well over a year ago. She is hella sexy and so honest. What you see is what you get. It was at that time primary makeup based. It has since changed and I love the channel even more. It is more of an advice/support channel then anything else.

Ms Nina calls her followers kisses and is very raw. Almost too raw but that is what makes it great. She has a great combination of beauty, life, fitness, motivation. I LOVE LOVE HER!

She can be found on instagram and youtube.

Now,  I am not gonna lie. She can be a loose cannon but that is her appeal to me as a women crush (she is no girl trust me lol) and as someone who inspires me. I love that she is fiercely loyal and doesn’t give a fuck. She will call an ignorant person out. In fact it was these tangents that made me unfollow her on youtube for awhile. I love a person who keeps it real but sometimes the haters are just wanting attention and you can’t feed those damn trolls.

Then she seemed to take some time off and in the long run I think that was a good idea as she is back stronger then ever. Not only physically but it seems to me soulfully. I began following her again and I don’t regret it. She recently called someone out and before it seemed hateful when she did it on instagram (literally like a year ago) which made me unfollow her. This time it has purpose and in my opionion called for…. But I do regret unfollowing as I need to realize we can “agree to disagree” even if she has no idea who the hell I am. LOL

Anyway….Don’t take my word on it. Please check out and subscribe to her. (and to reitterate she has no idea who I am) I  have linked a couple of her outstanding helping people who are struggling out videos.

Beware this video has a great message but made my anxiety and worry level squirm as it is done while driving.

 

This her keeping it real. For good or bad!

Here she is talking about her brief hiatus

AND this one will leave you in tears but sealed the deal on my love for her.

So there you have it. Sorry didn’t post much last weekend but I plan on writing some stuff today to update on life and finishs some drafts I have half written. I did make a long post about a work related issue my mind created but kept it private since… well even in the moment I didn’t care if I got fired… the sane me does!!! Stupid poor choices!!

 

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Wordless Wednesday

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comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!

Wordless Wednesday

Posted on Updated on

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comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!

This is how i leave the new pdoc

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A crying mess cuz first they screwed up my appt time and i had to worry about being late to work.  Second i laid it all on the line no lying no trying hide the real thoughts in my head.  She acknowledged i am bipolar but was in fence of borderline personality disorder. She said they are similar but one works with meds and one really doesn’t.  She upped my mood stabilizer and have me non narcotic anti anxiety sleeping aid.  I feel i need to try out tonight.  I told i was mainly using my klonopine to sleep.  I can’t shut my mind off. 

I felt like she really listened and didn’t just throw a med guess at me.  She is going to try to find me dbt counselor.  Overall i am feeling more positive for my future them i ever did leaving that office.

Comments questions random thoughts post below.  Please check out my social media as well please. 

Should we take bets

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On if new pdoc has read my psych eval or not?  I almost called to ask them to make sure but that would be too easy. I want my meds to stay the same.  Unless there is something that can help with the binge eating but I’m sure that is with therapy which I’m trying to find a dialectical one in my area. Not many to choose from boo.

I’m trying to find a level of hope and cynicism but really it’s just anxiety.
Here’s to trying to be hopeful.

That old self doubt

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Yesterday and today I’m in a self doubt loop.  I want my dream of being a freelance makeup artist to be real. I had momentum with this expo i did but it’s only two weeks after and I’m doubting myself and self sabotaging with my negative self talk. 

Why can’t i get the concept that it won’t be handed you like i want.  I have to HUSTLE! I have to do it mo one will for me.  I already know i can be successful without any real training i rocked that expo. .. even though Mr negative talk likes to say to me people were being nice. I feel  100 percent and 90 percent knowthat i did rock it.

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So I need to make this meme my new motto.  I will be a legend 😀

But i know that self doubt will be back do any advice on telling it to fuck off?  Leave below if appreciate it or questions random thoughts all that jazz and don’t forget my social media sites