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Self esteem issues

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How fast do we fall in such a short time. Today i don’t feel well physically or mentally. I have a long list of failures im desperately trying not to listen to. I’m also getting a sore throat and achy muscles with a slight headache. It’s hard to be mentally sound in general but when fighting physical ailments makes it harder.

Happy valentine’s day

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I appreciate this community so much. Wish you all could be my valentine. πŸ˜€

Well hell

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Im sitting here still loving myself but feeling overwhelmed. I think it’s my dreams from last night sticking with me. I often have dreams of being late to work or forgetting something. I feel ineffective and worthless. Which is odd since i have this feeling of love too. It’s like two sides battling and it’s causing anxiety. I dreamed of being caught in a fire does anyone know what that might mean?

Emotions

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I haven’t written much. Things are going ok. I’d love to say im recovered but that is probably a lie. I do let my emotions dictate too much. I desire things from my past that i know are toxic but I’m like what if.

I do feel ineffective. When will i get my passion back. Im just so monotone about things and i can’t find motivation. I miss being manic in that way.

But i do feel grateful for my job, my family, a roof over my head and food to eat. I love myself right now and that’s great news. Anyway just an update. Please share if you want how things are with you.

Tired

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Life is ok. I’m making due but i feel lost at the same time. My mind keeps reminding me of random things i want to forget. I feel slightly lonely. I am strong and will get through this but I’m tired of having to be strong.

Normal is as normal does

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I’ve been feeling good these last few days. Dare i say normal whatever that is πŸ˜€ today is the first day i really relished it. I had a busy day at work so that helps. I keep checking to see if i have anxiety and i don’t. How wonderful and weird it feels.

I love myself and this feeling. I wish i could bottle it up and share it. Or keep it for a bad day. I know i can’t and that’s ok to. It’s all going to be ok.

Ponderings

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I feel normal right now… well my normal anyway. I do wonder when it’ll change. I wonder if life gets better. I want to know if i have what it takes to be successful. Can i make real continual change? I just have a lot of life questions right now. Im not sure of answers.