Latest Event Updates
I have/had a friend who made me a part time priority. Well I asked a simple question and it burned the bridge of friendship. In general I’m relieved as I don’t have the anxiety of wondering when I’ll get a reply but another part is sad and anxious wanting the person to reach out and reconnect.
I’m learning not to settle because I have more self worth then that. I am valuable and loveable.
These sayings were on my Facebook feed this last weekend. They ate so fitting.
It’s always amazing to me when the universe gives us little reminders to stay the course. I’m so thankful maybe Facebook isn’t all bad lol
I realize I’m co dependent. I also have problems ending things that are toxic. It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship either. It can be friends, family, jobs. Hell one can make the argument with my mind. Do I like the struggle? It does give me an identity… The struggling mental illness disaster… I have found someone who is loving and supportive but it doesn’t fix the fact I’m co dependent. It is helpful though as I have someone to talk to who has yet to deem me crazy.
I don’t know where I’m going with this.. Just free thinking I guess. I think it’s finally time to rid my self of the dependency of negative thoughts and maladaptive coping skills. Fingers crossed I make it happen.
I feel like I’m in hell. Having unkind thoughts and anxiety…. But I’m doing what I set out to do this year and love myself. I’m telling myself these are just thoughts and it to shall pass. What ever is meant to be will happen and I will survive. Like I have for forty two years. I am loved and life is Ok. I’ll be ok. Right now I’m pretty proud of myself!
I’ve decided to go back to my old job if they will have me. The benefits are too good and the pay is more. I know it was high stress but I know now the grass is not greener over here. So I’m back to asking for prayers and Good vibes. Interviews aren’t for a couple of weeks but it’s never too soon to start praying.
I’ve decided not to set concrete goals for the new year. I’ve already “failed” at two I wanted to set which was waking up earlier and eating better.
I will instead be kinder to myself, more forgiving, and work on having a gratitude heart. I will do my best to make life and thinking simpler. I think that’s a good start and attainable. Some days I’ll probably struggle but that has to be ok. May God bless me and you in the new year.