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Depression

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I slept in really late again today and am ready for a nap. I think I’m depressed. That’s the thing about needs you still have the cycles just not as strongly. There is no cure or remission. Just recovery… Whatever that is. I know in my heart I should have went to work I have plenty to do but staying home is so much better. I wish I was lucky enough to not have to work. That would be amazing. I managed a couple loads of laundry and I need to vacuum. I should leave and buy a few groceries too. Hell I didn’t even care about eating. I made me a couple eggs cuz I know I at least need some protein. I haven’t felt this down in months. I wonder what triggered it. I go to the pdoc Friday and was wanting her to lower my needs more not sure that’s wise now but really I need to learn to cope with the moods.

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Looking for sympathy

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I’m having a blah day slept most of it and the rest of it I can’t give a damn about. Watching gone girl maybe it will perk me up. I think the billboard above is so true but rarely do people think it that way.

Couldn’t say it better myself

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I’ve been there… Especially before the medicines.

The what if game

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I’m anxious today. I have a lot of driving to do and yesterday I went to a tourist trap and almost ran over people. I keep replaying the concept in my mind. I can’t let it go. Plus thinking of work occasionally too. It’s not helping my mood. This is even my second favorite holiday. It’s depressing. What is it about us that we obsess over things? It’s one of the worst side effects of my mental illness. Do any of you have obsessive thoughts?

Realization

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I was watching a YouTube video about borderline personality disorder. One symptom is emptiness. It dawned on me I haven’t felt empty in a long time. How amazing is that! I’m not sure if it’s the meds or my coping is better or maybe my self worth is improved. No matter what I’ll take it as I remember that’s a dreadful feeling. Yeah for a small victory. 🙂

Badass mfer

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I couldn’t sum it up better 🙂

Been having a lot of anxiety but trying to cope today I used mindfulness. It’s a hard habit to make but I’m trying. Mine has mainly been from money issues and work.

How do you deal with anxiety?

Whining

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I feel like straight out whining today. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I don’t want to be on medication the rest of my life. I don’t want to be everyone’s chauffeur. I don’t want to be broke. Oh and no one told me there was a new fifty shades of grey book out. There is a lot more I can bitch about but I’ll spare you 🙂

Do you have anything you want to whine about?