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Mary Lambert: Secrets

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I love this song. It describes my life poetically. It also brings up a great point how we are taught to be “normal” to get over things, to not be so sensitive as a child. This is why the movie Frozen resonates with me as well. Usually parents teach us to be pleasing and not different or “weird” for social protection. I know for me I want to live in a world where it is acceptable to be who you are regardless of a mental health disorder or not.

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Emotional cutting today

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And I can’t stop. My brain keeps looping to this incident years and years ago. I have no contact with the co workers nor will I add I live in a different state. I just kept thinking they probably thought I was a loser cuz I thought it cool to call this lady at a job esa but she was Puerto Rican and that’s a friendly reference to someone from Mexico. She was never rude about it. But I can’t help looping. I think another co worker corrected me again in a nice way but I keep thinking I bet I was the joke there. Blah.

I am trying to do breathing exercises and positive reinforcement and it works for a moment then the hatred and inner name calling comes back. It doesn’t help I’m exhausted from a poor nights sleep and a full day at work. Whaa whaa whaa

comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!

Face of mental illness

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This is the persona I often wear and a lot of us with mental illness. I also where this face… a smile when I’m hurting inside.

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Sometimes my eyes can’t hide it though. Thankfully my husband is getting good at noticing when I’m down but he doesn’t understand and part off me is glad he doesn’t. I don’t want anyone to feel my feelings. I’m mopey today and he noticed I didn’t lie but I didn’t explain the whole picture as how do you explain hopeless feelings that have no rhyme or reason?

I am the face of bipolar and mental illness. Both a badge of honor everyday I live and a badge of sadness as there is no cure.

comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!

Middle land

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I’m just cruising in that no worries fog not anxious not depressed not hypo but masked as I still have my eating issues.

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This was my instagram today. Though I’ve not been paranoid or doing too much overthinking it’s always underlying.

Do any of you feel that same way. A sane blanket covering the mental chaos?

I swear I’m not melancholy though I think I sound that way. 🙂 just overthinking again lol

comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!

World Suicide prevention day

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I will be having a moment of silence today for all who have succumb to the desire and either attempted or succeed. Attempting”runs in my family.” So I family wise and personally know these thoughts.

Shameless plug

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http://yourbeautywhisperer.com/2014/09/09/mascara-review-mally/

The above is a link to my real life passion. Beauty not just the outside but inside too. I want to be a makeup artist but with three kids a full time job and bipolar issues it can be difficult to stay inspired.
I share this to add I’ve been so depressed I haven’t written much in a couple weeks. I am so happy I have this post and one already scheduled for tomorrow. Whoop whoop lol.

Thanks for everyone who supports this blog too. We may never meet but you all mean the world to me!

comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!

Thank you guys!

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I thought it was a great discussion on if I should stay medication compliant. Your experiences made me remember how out of control as if I was imploding without it. I do wish the good parts of hypomania but those moments are few and far between. This is a great video that a brave man shares. Though sounds over simplified his advice made me realize a few things. Plus he talks about being need compliant is a healthy thing.

Tips and tricks for living with Rapid Cycling Bip…: http://youtu.be/alTR12DbJqE

comments, questions, random thoughts leave below and please check out my social media sites! I appreciate you all! !!!