December 12 2019

Luck I use to be very lucky. I had a great undiagnosed life. I lived life to the fullest and had lots of friends. Since being diagnosed i don’t seem to be lucky anymore. Is it the label holding me back? I can’t seem to catch a break. Is it that ignorance is bliss? Today

December 11 2019

Somber with a dash of doubt I am somber and full of doubt. I love Christmas but money is tight. I always get myself into too much debt by the end of the year. Then tax season catches me up to repeat again. I am determined to break the cycle this coming year. I just

December 10 2019

Passion What are you passionate about? I’d say i struggle with passion in my life. I wish i was passionate about my work. I am about doing a good job but most days i don’t want to be here. I suppose i am about my blog. It’s been a constant for years. And if i

December 9 2019

Community We’re all want to be part of a community to feel connected. I love this community. It has been great to me and i try to give back when i can. Im also part of a community of social workers which is a hard job. It has lots of burn out and for me

December 8 2019

Please listen to this song. I think most people struggle with finding or sustaining love. I know i do. I just don’t know if i can love someone else when i struggle with loving myself. I want to but silly romantic movies and my past paint different pictures and screws up my expectations. Have you

December 7 2019

Solace… I seek solace in the daily grind. A kind gesture, a calming voice, or just plain learning to let shit go. I know i wrap myself in a cocoon of mental illness identity. Really i should let it go. Yes i will never be cured but it doesn’t have to be my identity. I

December 6 2019

Friendship I use to have a lot of friends. People were always at my house then we moved to a different state and I’ve struggled to make friends. I find where i live you either grew up here and don’t need new friends or you are rich and vacation here. Plus since my diagnosis I’ve

December 5 2019

I gotta say I’m already losing interest in this blogmas thing. So I’ve chosen today to be pensive again and lament on why it is i can’t stick to anything. I have great ideas but my follow through sucks. Is it the medication or being bipolar or just a character flaw? How do you force

December 4 2019

So i found out yesterday there is a thing called blogmas. Lol so im changing the descriptive from my silly title to that. Today im talking about change. It’s hard to make changes. I know i have several I’d like to but i find i don’t have the motivation or maybe the real desire to