#blogtober20 whenever whatever

I’m back to post as I’ve kept up so far why not keep going even though i struggle with these prompts. Today is a whenever whatever kind of day. As stated previously I’ve got a bad attitude. Whenever i think of whatever it doesn’t help. I think some days we just need a bad attitude.

So it’s Friday

And i could bitch about life but today i don’t even have the fux to care. I got a bad attitude today if you can’t tell. Just got to get through the day when all i want to do is sleep. Yet writing that still helps ease it. Maybe today will get better with my

Pretending

I use to pretend so much better. It is exhausting to try to regulate your mood when you can’t figure it out yourself. I think I’d be considered high functioning but am i really? Is there really a thing like that when you have a severe mental disorder? I can get to point a from

#blogtober20 can’t get you out of my head

Well this title for me should be i can’t get out of my head though today is better. I sleep through two alarms but thankfully woke up in time. I’m just trying to stay busy. I keep thinking it’s Friday. When i get caught up in my head its a mess. I don’t know how

#blogtober20 smile

I smile when i think of you. It brings me joy the thought of snuggling and kissing. You make me feel loved and i cherish that feeling as i never have felt worthy. You are my crusader as you fight to keep me protected and safe. I love you to the moon and back. I

More anxiety

I’m not sure where it’s coming from. But it’s making this week forever. I took my klonopin and an early lunch at work to try and calm down. It moderately worked. I will just trudge on. What else can i do?

#blogtober20 never ever

Never ever have i felt truly content in a job. I don’t know what my dream job is anymore. I was going to do a list of never Evers but past the one above I’m not sure. I would like to play the game with friends but you’d need a big group and welp… For

High anxiety

I feel like I’m just waiting to be fired. My anxiety is through the roof even with klonopin. I’ve used breathing exercises and taken a shower. Still is there. I’m debating on taking a lunch maybe laying down for a bit will help. I just want some peace. I feel like a loser.

I just don’t know

I just don’t know what life has in store for me. I’m feeling mixed up. A little bit of sadness/ loneliness and hopeful at same time. I feel uncomfortable in my skin and yet alive. Why do i make the choices i make? I want so much different but i repeat the same patterns. I

#blogtober20 don’t look back in anger

I get angry at myself and the world once in awhile. I’ve even been angry at God. Today I’m just blah. I like feeling angry as it’s an emotion for the living. Though i don’t stay there long as I’m more apathetic then anything. It’s cold and dreary here today. I want to be curled