Old thought patterns

I just can’t leave things well enough alone. I’m searching for something anything to feel alive and yet I know just living is enough right? Doing my best always trying to be a better me. Interacting with people and making friends comes with a lot of expectations I place on myself. I enjoy having the friends but wonder if i I can sustain it.

I feel the rush to make bad choices and fall into old patterns that don’t serve me well. It’s Causing my anxiety and I just don’t know how to remedy it. The thought loops are obnoxious.

3 thoughts on “Old thought patterns

  1. I feel you,friendships can be emotionally eviscerating for me. And the thought loops shoul be considered a form of OCD because we try to fight then but they are pervasive and overpowering. Today my brain has opted to replay the horrible things my dad said during the big blow up weeks ago. I do not want to think about it. It is upsetting and harms what I am trying to rebuild. It just won’t let up,even when I busy myself. Like a soundtrack it just keeps playing.
    You are recognizing the patterns and admitting your struggles with friendship while recognizing you also want and need them. That is HUGE progress so work that into the thought loops. Growing as a person is to be celebrated❤💙👽

  2. We’re all looking to form meaningful connections and find purpose in life. I’m terrible at platonic friendships… I barely know how to make friends and I think I’m only just beginning to understand some of it as an adult.

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