I’m really struggling right now. I feel very on edge and emotionally drained. I don’t know how to fix it and maybe that’s the problem. I need to accept it or is that the toxic positivity people say? The question is ultimately how do I deal with emotions that are tough. I feel so much stress. I think I have that job and I know it won’t fix anything completely but it should help I feel. Then I get doubt on if it’ll work out and I’ll be disqualified for some reason. My paranoia is through the roof and I can’t deal. I want to shut down but I can’t even seem to manage that. Is that a good thing? I just so want a happy joy filled life but does that exist? Am I meant to always be in turmoil? I just don’t know.