I haven’t been doing much for self care but watching true crime in YouTube. I’ve been a ball of apathy. I even thought about deleting this whole blog. The thing is the meds take away the extreme feelings so I think it leaves apathy for depression. I almost feel like I’d rather be in the don’t leave my bed or shower mode to this feeling. I do want to care but I’m not sure where to start.
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I Am My Own Island 
I am glad you didn’t delete your blog. I feel you,though. Thing with bipolar is you can’t make big moves while in an extreme. Mania,depression apathy,it is all a distortion that we generally see through a few days later. Not being able to trust your own feelings and judgment is yet one more hellish facet to the disorder. Keep with the true crime and ride it out.💙
You’re not alone in those thoughts. Continue to take care of yourself, while doing what you can in the “real” world.
Yea, keep sharing your thoughts because you are not alone. And you will realise that there are many people on here who will support you, whether they suffer from depression or not. You can always delete posts you do not like at any time.