When I woke up yesterday my intuition was pushing me not to pull a morning tarot card because I was scared frankly. I am still learning my journey in that realm and I wasn’t sure if it would be guidance or me projecting. Which leads me to question on some level did my worry about the day create it to be worse? Then again I don’t believe in concrete manifestation. Yes we I do think your perceptions and mood can make a situation manifest better or worse but it isn’t going to stop the good or bad thing from happening.
Anyway first I went to work for morning meeting. Then I got my hair cut again at no charge because I couldn’t deal with how it looked. I had a client who use to be a hair stylist day it was shit. Sigh ok to me it looks better but I saw that same client today and she said no still like shit don’t go back to that lady again. So that’s a bummer.
Then I had to take one of the dogs to the shelter as she just needs more space to roam them I have. Please don’t judge me I promise I tried. I ultimately felt she would have a better quality of life somewhere else and well the shelter after trying other things was the only place right now. So I felt guilt about that.
Then I go to work dealing with a client who is emotionally exhausting to me for three hours. She was not in crisis though she feels ensuring is an immediate crisis because she doesn’t think ahead at problem solving. I get it and maybe I eviscerated too much. I don’t know. This puts me behind for the day.
Then as I’m pulling into a client home my car heat sensor comes on. I turn it off and the engine is gurgling. Fuck! So I get it towed. My dad can’t pick me up as at clients and thankfully a co worker did. I am left waiting on a tow truck worried while having to listen to the clients issues which is always the same thing as well.
It’s so hard in this profession to stay compassionate all the time. I am human and I do my best I swear. It’s just for real I’m dealing with something right now and you want to talk all about you? Yes I understand it’s her time but man.
Them I call other clients and say I won’t be there today which they took well and I decompressed. Oh but I didn’t get all my notes in so that’ll suck long term as well.
It really was just one thing after another. Honestly though yes it could be worse someone could be sick out dying but at what point do we say yes I accept this is a shitty day no need to see silver lining or be thankful for the day?
Today I’m up way early which may be a good thing as I can concentrate on my notes and get them caught up. I pray my vehicle will not cost a lot and my week will get better.