I haven’t taken my meds in two days. Not because I don’t think I need them anymore but because I’ve been having supper at my parents and forgot to bring meds and the latuda must be taken with so many calories. I’m only feeling it right now in the allergy department. Scratchy throat and runny nose.

I’ve had a good time the last two days at my parents watching old home movies. What makes it neat is seeing my youngest one ask questions and think about his life if we’d stayed in Iowa.

I honestly don’t have a favorite child. They are all different and have challenges and awesome qualities. But my youngest has had the last daily living trauma of living with his father and so he’s a less sullen teen. I’m more level and loving also so it’s not just the effects of him growing up in a shitty marriage that have allowed him to blossom in ways the others didn’t.

I am a little melancholy as I thought my middle son and I were closer then we are. I don’t know why he has been so quite lately. Well I do have a clue he wants a partner in life and is struggling to find one and it makes his depression worse. I get that. But I also know or have seen many times when you want something so bad it doesn’t manifest. I feel for him.

Why can life be so hard for people and easy for others? I don’t get the rhyme or reason of it.

6 thoughts on “Oops

  1. I actually think having finding a partner as a goal isn’t a healthy thing. But the idea becomes more attractive the more depressed or lonely we are. Yet we need to solve those issues first before having a partner. We need a social network and a purpose. With those in place a partner seems way less important. Just my experience anyway.

  2. Every one has their own soul longings and we can never be completely sure where they come from.. maybe from our deep essence and then that meets our conditioning and other expectations and experiences.. you can only be there for them as you can.. children have challenges we all do.. life may be harder for those though who didnt get the foundation of help to really blossom out into those directions they needed and yet others manage.. a lot of it is a mystery.. .

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