Jealousy

I got my bonus tomorrow its not much but something is better than nothing. I am jealous though as another coworker full well knowing we aren’t suppose to talk about what we each make tells me she’s get like 4000 dollars this is triple what I’m getting. I am jealous as i am an excellent worker yet due to not being given clients early on i got screwed. I tell myself it’s no one’s fault and it is what it is and i need to be grateful for what i get. I am yet it stinks as money is so integral to surviving. And as i wrote yesterday i have a hard time telling myself no to things with money. I should let it go … another thing I’m working on. Sigh

8 thoughts on “Jealousy

  1. It helps my attitude (and guilt complex) if I view it this way:’ I am not jealous,I am envious. I do not feel mad,I just want that for myself.’ Envy is not as toxic as jealousy.

    1. There is a quota system which i think i might have complained about before that really chaps my hide. We are not dealing with pushing paperwork but human lives. I get there needs to be a standard of expectations but to say hey you have to see this many people and spend this amount of time with them to get more money is sad to me. I never really worry about the quarter bonuses as long as i see enough to keep my job but the fact that the 4% bonus was more then i realized that people are getting just makes me feel like why do i bother if it isn’t going to matter. Then i think… hello humans here that’s why you care and bother!

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