Well… what we make up in our minds is never reality

So my boyfriend had no intentions of proposing… it’s far worse. He said his upper part of his heart isn’t working and they think at night when he sleeps he doesn’t get enough oxygen to his brain. I had encouraged months ago for him to get checked for sleep apnea… sigh… anyway they might have to stop his heart to restart the whole thing… but… there is no guarantee it will ever restart. It’s very heavy and he felt it best to tell me in person instead of in a phone call.

I don’t know what to feel. I’m in a numb space yet raw with thoughts of past mistakes and what ifs of the future.

I feel so foolish that i thought his serious talk was marriage and just over all a messed up mind blob… sigh

8 thoughts on “Well… what we make up in our minds is never reality

  1. Sorry to hear this. Very scary.
    Try not to be too hard on yourself. Our panic prone brains are masters at giving us distorted thoughts.

      1. He is lucky to have you. Don’t forget to look after yourself too. Sometimes we need to put on our own oxygen masks before we can help others.

  2. I don’t think it’s surprising at all that your mind would have gone to the serious talk being about marriage.

    I hope if he does end up needing cardioversion that everything goes smoothly.

  3. Wow. I am so sorry to hear this! Don’t sweat the misunderstanding, this is something that you never could have thought of. Our brains go where our brains go and we can’t control that.

    The important thing now is to reset. We are all here for you while you are there for him. ❤

  4. I totally understand how your brain could have gone there. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

    While you are there for him, don’t forget to be there for you too.

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