So my boyfriend had no intentions of proposing… it’s far worse. He said his upper part of his heart isn’t working and they think at night when he sleeps he doesn’t get enough oxygen to his brain. I had encouraged months ago for him to get checked for sleep apnea… sigh… anyway they might have to stop his heart to restart the whole thing… but… there is no guarantee it will ever restart. It’s very heavy and he felt it best to tell me in person instead of in a phone call.
I don’t know what to feel. I’m in a numb space yet raw with thoughts of past mistakes and what ifs of the future.
I feel so foolish that i thought his serious talk was marriage and just over all a messed up mind blob… sigh