What does i love you really mean

I dated for several months years ago a family friend i grew up with. It was long distance and frankly i was a mess mentally and he is an alcoholic. I love him dearly but i wasn’t in a place to peacefully go from on alcoholic relationship to another. I guess you really shouldn’t be but i digress. A few months back i reached out to him on that dreaded Facebook ad we have mutual friends and he had gotten married after we broke up but is now divorced. I was healing from my trauma and by the time i was ready to be friends again i didn’t want to be dramatic in his marriage. Anyway… we would talk from time to time nothing serious. Some rehashing of the past and apologies that we didn’t work out.

Then Monday he reached out and we had a conversation. He tells me i love you. Huh what does that mean? We both are in relationships and I’m not unhappy etc. I tell him i love you too because frankly i will always love him but that the timing is off and frankly he’s still an alcoholic.

Anyway the point of me sharing this is it has me all jumbled up. I am in a space where i really don’t need validated love. My identity is no longer tied to being in a relationship even if i didn’t have one. But i want him in my life. We really do make great friends but I’m also of the opinion it’s hard to be just friends with the opposite sex … well for me personally it always has been. I just have this feeling of something between wanting more and knowing it’s a bad deal. It’s this weird love and numbness thing i feel. I can’t quite wrap my mind around it.

11 thoughts on “What does i love you really mean

  1. I have found the statement,said in an affectionate tone, drives the point home. “You are like a brother/best friend to me and for that,I love you.” Makes it clear there are zero romantic intentions. Some may not take the hint but most do.
    I am still friends with an ex and the woman he married after we split. There are no blurred lines because we have both defined the friendship. And honestly,he is such a narcissistic pain in the ass,I credit his wife greatly for being a better woman than I am. I would never in a billion years put up with who has become in the 25 years since we shacked up. I can live with a criminal record, with mental health issues,with extroverts. But Trump loving Republican who refuses to agree to disagree is my line in the sand😜

      1. My life was much easier when I was oblivious to politics and gave zero fucks if a possum was running the country😜😜

  2. I totally relate. My ex, before he remarried, we hooked up off an on. Yes, while I was married. Because I ad a very special relationship with him and it was very hard to let go or just be platonic friends. He got remarried a few years ago, and invited me to the wedding… Really? Like I wanted to see him get married, knowing that it closed a chapter in our relationship. They moved to Texas, which I am glad. Keeps the temptation away. But we tell each other I Love you all of the time. BUT…. in a platonic way. He will always have a place in my heart, and my husband understand this, because my husband was around when we were seeing each other. It’s a long dramatic story really… But yeah, I get it.

    1. You’re right i do but I’ve realized not enough to ruin my current relationship. I don’t know if it’s nostalgia or some creeping validation thing but it’s a bad idea either way

      1. Yea, i get it. Being honest with yourself about it, as your are, probably the solid path. It’s a hard, inexplicable thing sometimes – those we are profoundly attracted to, doesn’t go away.

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