Hmmm should i?

There was no real drama with the ex stopping by… it was weird his girlfriend stayed in the truck the whole time which maybe isn’t weird as it’s not like we were going to sit and have coffee together but I’d be helping him with the boat not sitting waiting. Anyway i asked if he was coming back to actually get the boat not just fix the tire and he said “its a process” oh jeez really? I let it slide and went back to work. He then asked my son to get me and i came to the door and he told me to take the kids and move somewhere else where they have more opportunity. Huh???!!! I said i can’t because we (i) are still raising one and is need your permission to move out of state. He said i have it. I said i understand and think about it.

Now i know my middle son put him up to it… first i slightly hard a mumbled conversation where he was complaining about life here. My middle son and i have had conversations of moving and where to go. He doesn’t understand its his lack of drive that is hindering him then location. We talked about i think last week and i said i have to think of the one I’m still raising and if he’d want to change high schools etc. Technically middle son is grown so I’m only indebted to my youngest. If that makes sense.

So… yes I have wanted to move for years from here but where to go and i love my boyfriend but we don’t live together and though we talk often he doesn’t seem interested in moving forward… which is fine as i don’t necessarily want him to work raising youngest but if i move away would he want to come and if i do move away willingly… how much do i really love him? Or is this some kind of ability to not be Co dependent i have garnered.

Oh wow a lot to think of. I’ll see what boyfriend says tonight if i don’t chicken out. But i feel confident in knowing now where i stand then not.

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