Empty

I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t for the psych meds telling my mind …. nothing to see here move along… I’d be in the hospital again. Should i be grateful? I feel empty inside yet full of regrets and self chiding I’ve upgraded from dead inside but only because the brain chatter is immense.

How do you go from feeling joy again to utter defeat? I just don’t know or i do but when does having a mental disorder not an excuse?

It doesn’t help that i have no friends to hang out with even in a pandemic. No one to call upon and say hey remember that time?

I pray this gets better… the up and down is too much sometimes and i don’t know what to do with myself.

9 thoughts on “Empty

  1. I know it is not the same as a IRL friend but I am right here,with unlimited talk and text if you need to chat or vent. You have my number.

  2. Hi, friend, can I call you that? I sometimes have this drowning feeling. I feel worthless, so lonely. Then I do gratitude meditation. For some time it feels okay but if you don’t do it daily you are back to square one. Learning something new helps. Everyone feels differently.

  3. πŸ€— hugs.. I know we’re not ‘real’ friends, but the caring is there. I get seriously down too.. I just don’t tell anyone… Take a St Johns Wort and drink a bit more caffeine.. no one ever seems to notice..

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