So much blah

I feel gray inside. Other than days off i have nothing to look forward to. I did some crafting yesterday so that’s a plus. It turned out pretty ok for a beginner.

Im worried about my middle son. He is struggling finding a job to keep and i think his relationship is about done. He struggles with depression and ideation. I am scared the ideation will become more.

I just feel like I’m failing at life. I need to understand this will pass and I’ll find joy again. I at least have hope.

5 thoughts on “So much blah

  1. A common mistake people make is to tell themselves, “I’ll be happy when…” This defers happiness to some imagined future. It’s more of a challenge to be happy in the present moment.

    Have you thought about seeing someone for therapy?

    1. I do know i need to see someone. It’s just that I’ve been through everyone without much results in my area. I’ve even tried places like better help online. But with my new insurance they want telehealth. It’s worth a shot.

      And you are right about happiness. Im just hoping for joy. If i can wrangle it somehow. But that’s future thinking too huh?

      1. Oh it’s only a guideline to say be happy now. But it might be good for you to be immersed in a good group environment. With the lockdown right now, this is harder to do. Can you think of anything social you’d consider doing? Some people have a church group. It’s just nice to have a support system.

  2. So strange, in my worst days of depression, I would feel a ray of hope. Let go if you can. For a few hours, minutes, I mean.

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