Update 41519 — wishes

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I had my second iron infusion on Friday. I took the whole day off so I’m on my third day if right now. I bought new bedroom set and am rearranging my bedroom. I in true fashion am making a bigger mess then probably need be. Just another thing I use against myself.

I want to be one of the pretty people with the perfect house job husband life. But I know that doesn’t exist for anyone but I’m sure more people then me attain it.

I am fully depressed. It was triggered by an event I don’t even need to be on the clock for. I got an after hour text that this family was giving up on this child. When did people become disposable? I know people don’t make those choices lightly but how do you decide just because someone isn’t a good fit to throw them away? I’m sorry I can’t be more specific but I probably said more then I should. But it breaks my heart. What we do to each other.

I want my fairytale. I want to find people in my life who make me better. Being nearly friendless is lonely. I’m just so blah right now. I wish I could convey my raw feelings on this page but it’s just words. I wish I could get real hugs and sit with you all and have a real conversation. Sigh… I want to say so much… but why bother? I’ll still be flawed and lonely.


8 thoughts on “Update 41519 — wishes

    ashleyleia said:
    April 14, 2019 at 3:33 pm

    A real group sit and chat would be nice. xo

      socialworkerangela responded:
      April 14, 2019 at 3:42 pm

      Just someone to talk about things without the stigma and someone other then a therapist this community is awesome I just want some irl non family interaction sigh

    Carol Anne said:
    April 14, 2019 at 4:41 pm

    Who does that shit? That child probably already been through a shit load of stuff in their short life. Ug! I would love to catch up meet you some day. Boy that would be fun!

    laurelwolfelives said:
    April 14, 2019 at 5:13 pm

    Anytime you want/need…email me. (Just let me know you did.)

    Secret Keeper said:
    April 14, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    I crave real human interaction as well. I’m sorry you are feeling this way. I understand it my own way and it’s frustrating and lonely. I hope things turn around for you soon.

    A Single Parent's Life said:
    April 15, 2019 at 3:04 pm

    I know how you feel it is so hard not to have that in life friendship. Or ones that understand where you are coming from. I was just saying this in my post today.

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