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I’m so unhappy but I pretend to be happier then I am. When do I get to stop pretending? I hate the whole just be happy think positive choose it mentality. I promise I would if I could. I know this desire to have a different life is not helping but I don’t know how to stop wanting it and it’s not from lack of not trying. I’m going for the promotion… I tried online therapy… I’m working on being more assertive. I want to go back ten years and make some different choices but of course I can’t. Two steps forward three back I feel all the time.


6 thoughts on “Life

    Iggy said:
    July 16, 2017 at 9:10 pm


    My Side of the Pole said:
    July 16, 2017 at 9:35 pm

    I pretend to be happy too. It’s exhausting and overwhelming. I hope you get to rest sometime soon

    bethanyk said:
    July 16, 2017 at 11:54 pm

    I’ve stopped pretending and now even if i want to i can’t pretend.
    I’m so sorry you are so sad

    manyofus1980 said:
    July 17, 2017 at 7:14 am

    it does feel like that a lot doesnt it? I am sorry things feel so hard right now. thinking good thoughts for you. xo

    GreenTea said:
    July 17, 2017 at 10:17 am

    It is exhausting isn’t it? And I hated when people told me to try harder to be positive but I guess a better way to think of it is not to be positive but not to wallow in the sad. I know that sounds hard but the way my mom said to think of it as is “I don’t know how but I’ve put myself in this room (depression) again and now that I’ve addressed that I’m in the room I need to focus on getting out.” It’s weirdly helpful.

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