I’m so unhappy but I pretend to be happier then I am. When do I get to stop pretending? I hate the whole just be happy think positive choose it mentality. I promise I would if I could. I know this desire to have a different life is not helping but I don’t know how to stop wanting it and it’s not from lack of not trying. I’m going for the promotion… I tried online therapy… I’m working on being more assertive. I want to go back ten years and make some different choices but of course I can’t. Two steps forward three back I feel all the time.