I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday. I have awesome news my son at this time won’t need surgery. What a miracle! It still makes me nervous but I know he’s fine for now and that’s what matters.
I’ve been feeling pretty good emotionally. I like this feeling and am enjoying it.
I do have these random thoughts of dying and I get scared. It’s amazing on how when I’m doing well I am terrified of not existing but when deep in a depression all I want to do is not exist. The pain is too great. The fear is gone and there is just longing.
I don’t see my new therapist until September. It seems like a long ways away. But my instincts make me feel he will be good. I want the kind of working relationship with a therapist I read others having. I want to dig deep.