random thoughts may 17 2017

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I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday. I have awesome news my son at this time won’t need surgery. What a miracle! It still makes me nervous but I know he’s fine for now and that’s what matters.

I’ve been feeling pretty good emotionally. I like this feeling and am enjoying it. 

I do have these random thoughts of dying and I get scared. It’s amazing on how when I’m doing well I am terrified of not existing but when deep in a depression all I want to do is not exist. The pain is too great. The fear is gone and there is just longing. 

I don’t see my new therapist until September. It seems like a long ways away. But my instincts make me feel he will be good. I want the kind of working relationship with a therapist I read others having. I want to dig deep. 

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2 thoughts on “random thoughts may 17 2017

    "Pucky" said:
    May 17, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    Pucky the Brain says Congrats and good luck!

    northernrose17 said:
    May 18, 2017 at 2:08 am

    That’s great about your son ūüôā

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