random thoughts 3/24/17

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I feel this way often. I wonder how I have so much chaos in my mind but I still carry on. I don’t know if my medication cocktail is cutting it. I slept twelve hours yesterday. Did I need the sleep or am I depressed? This is the crux of mental illness we feel the need to question everything… Every thought every motive every positive and negative. I question constantly yet I survive and eventually get things done. 

I have control issues but I am wondering if it isn’t a self preservation thing. I control so I don’t get triggered and go down that dark path. Yet nothing but my secondary reaction to things is in my control. You may ask secondary? Yes because our primary thoughts I feel the majority of the time can’t be predicted or controlled but how we handle them can be. 

Lastly… This is a reminder to myself and anyone reading this. Maybe you aren’t important to the one person you want to be but I guarantee you are to someone else. We just have to look outside ourselves and be open to others we never felt were a possibility. I’m not taking just lovers but in friendships as well. You never know who might be a life saver.


6 thoughts on “random thoughts 3/24/17

    emmavirginiasmenatlhealth said:
    March 24, 2017 at 7:13 pm

    “Medication cocktail”- you’ve nailed it! Thanks for writing.

    ramblingsofruin said:
    March 24, 2017 at 11:44 pm

    I really relate to the “question everything” mentality. I am constantly doing that. Am I feeling tired because I’ve been working hard… or am I depressed? Do I feel good because I’m stable… or am I hypomanic? It’s exhausting. Thanks for sharing 💛

      socialworkerangela responded:
      March 25, 2017 at 8:22 am

      Exactly it’s annoying to because we can’t just be.

    wisewoodpidgeon said:
    March 25, 2017 at 2:10 pm

    Great post!! Positive and encouraging and honest. I think it’s great that you’ve written this because it will give you something to look back on if darker days come again. That’s one of the reasons I write; that and to remind myself of what’s important.
    You’re doing a great job 💜

    manyofus1980 said:
    March 25, 2017 at 10:41 pm

    I stole the memes for my fb page! 🙂 thinking of you keep your chin up hon xoxo

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