judging

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There is nothing like having a child who just had major surgery to cause you to judge yourself. We had to head back up to the hospital three hours away due to headaches and fevers my son has been having. I pray it’s a waste of time. At the same time I’m aggravated with our medical system and how they do things. I told them the neurosurgeon is expecting us yet they still haven’t called the neurosurgeon. Wtf! Plus there were some other factors that have me judging my parenting like did I clean his incision enough, did I fed him enough, did I have him drink enough. Ugh I feel like a horrible parent. I’ve never felt more inadequate as a parent then I do right now. I can’t stand the feeling. 

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10 thoughts on “judging

    manyofus1980 said:
    January 15, 2017 at 9:51 pm

    Don’t feel inadequate! Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. Wounds get infected. Symptoms occur. Its not your fault. xxx

    Bradley said:
    January 15, 2017 at 10:43 pm

    I hope taking him there does turn out to a waste of time. Being powerless to help your child while they’re in pain is difficult.

      socialworkerangela responded:
      January 16, 2017 at 6:03 pm

      Other then peace of mind it was a waste of time and money sigh

    bethanyk said:
    January 15, 2017 at 11:22 pm

    Oh I am sure beyond a shadow of a doubt you did everything possible and are a good mother. This has nothing to do with you. You already called and asked about the fever which means you have been on top of things from day one. Hopefully they will get their act in gear and get that neurosurgeon there to check your son out.
    Hoping everything is okay and you can have peace of mind that your son is okay.

    TheFeatheredSleep said:
    January 16, 2017 at 12:26 pm

    My friend I don’t think you should judge yourself but I do understand because as women and as mothers and with any type of cruelty in the world we do turn on ourselves first but as Bethany said you are a good mom and this is NOT your fault. You TRY and that’s all we can do. Please please remember how good you are and how despite the struggle you try so hard and it DOES count. I pray for you and your son always my friend

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