I am ready to sleep the next two weeks away. I’m ready for the day of the surgery. I don’t even care about Christmas my favorite holiday. I don’t care about work though I need too. I will probably be this way until it’s time for the surgery. Nothing seems to matter. It’s not a depression that I could handle it mind grinding fear of the unknown. The fear my son will die. The bible says God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. I don’t want to test that scripture. I don’t want to be like job but I feel like him often. Is life just one big test?