I have this strange mix of hopefulness and anxiety. I feel great about my life right this minute. But then the next minute I think about all the chaos and pain I’ll have son and I don’t lose hope but it makes me anxious. I’ve been thinking a lot about this last year and what high hopes I had for it. I’m dwelling on the carnage it brought. I should focus on the good it brought though the con’s out weigh the pros. Will life ever be stable? Well my son be without cancer and live a healthy life. Will i find some stability? Well I find happiness that is more than a fleeting thought? I have hope of these things but I just doubt it’s all attainable.