mixed state

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I think I might be in a mixed state. I have been having some suicidal ideation fleeting thoughts but I also feel happy. I feel needy and self realized. I guess  it’s to be expected with all the personal changes. Why is it that something has to be in chaos in my life? 

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17 thoughts on “mixed state

    Culbert Sinnsen said:
    November 16, 2016 at 7:08 am

    I have been experiencing this lately too.

    feistyfroggy said:
    November 16, 2016 at 7:35 am

    Suicidal ideation is nothing to take lightly. There are ways to get help anonymously if don’t want to talk face to face. Please start here:
    American Foundation for Suicide Prevention https://afsp.org/

    For other help, please see my blog post about Suicide and Survival.
    https://deweyhop.wordpress.com/2016/09/02/suicide-and-survival/

    You may also email me privately if you wish at Feisty_Froggy@yahoo.com. You have been through some awful stuff, but no problem is worth your life. When people feel suicidal, they are not thinking appropriately.

      laurelwolfelives said:
      November 16, 2016 at 9:58 am

      Sometimes it’s not as easy as just visiting a website or a blog…and sometimes it’s not the actual entertainment of committing the act, but rather not really caring if you live or die. There’ a sort of acceptance in that….I think?

        feistyfroggy said:
        November 16, 2016 at 10:58 am

        No. It’s not easy no matter what course. I was just thinking that she has a therapist but maybe she wanted something more anonymous as well.

        laurelwolfelives said:
        November 16, 2016 at 11:03 am

        True. WP is pretty anonymous, I guess. I have been trying to find somebody who could “crack my shell” for eleven years. Anonymous or in person, nobody ever has or ever will be able to break me, for some reason….but I know it’s a tough road to travel. I hope she will fare well.

        feistyfroggy said:
        November 16, 2016 at 12:07 pm

        Why do you need your shell cracked?

        laurelwolfelives said:
        November 16, 2016 at 12:10 pm

        I guess the shell I live in. Nobody has ever been able to get through it…or “crack” it, if you will.

        feistyfroggy said:
        November 16, 2016 at 12:12 pm

        So you are very private.

        laurelwolfelives said:
        November 16, 2016 at 12:24 pm

        Not at all. I just don’t buy all the bullshit rhetoric about “someday….you will find happiness…blah, blah, blah.
        I did have one therapist tell me “you weren’t abused. You were tortured…and I don’t believe you will ever recover.” ‘Nuff said, I guess.

        feistyfroggy said:
        November 16, 2016 at 12:28 pm

        Wow. I am sorry about the abuse. Can’t really click “like” about abuse.

        laurelwolfelives said:
        November 16, 2016 at 12:34 pm

        Eh…it is what is is…or was what it was, I guess I should say. I’d like to find a hypnotist who could make me forget everything…but with my photographic memory, that would either take forever or cost me an arm and a leg. 🙂

        feistyfroggy said:
        November 16, 2016 at 12:45 pm

        Perhaps your experience can be turned into a way to help others.

        laurelwolfelives said:
        November 16, 2016 at 12:56 pm

        Help them how? Teach them how to freeze? Teach them how to stagnate and watch their life slowly disappear? Teach them how to react when the children they bore, desert them in favor of an abusive, drunken father and grandmother…not to mention some tramp their father picked up and wanted to keep on the side?
        Don’t think I’m the one to give help unless it’s to show them what they DON’T want to do.

        socialworkerangela responded:
        November 16, 2016 at 4:59 pm

        🙂

      socialworkerangela responded:
      November 16, 2016 at 4:59 pm

      Thank you for your support I appreciate it. I may take you up on your offer to email.

        feistyfroggy said:
        November 17, 2016 at 6:05 am

        🙂

    manyofus1980 said:
    November 25, 2016 at 1:13 pm

    I feel the same way. always something has to be chaotic in my life. I’m so tired of it. xxx

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