I don’t know why I’m having a hard time finding a therapist. Yesterday (since it’s two am) I had an appt. I was so anxious for it I almost cancelled but didn’t want that cancellation fee out of pocket. Anyway I felt the judgment from him that I’m seeing someone and I’m not even divorced. He said I need to role model for my kids and my ex could use it against me in the divorce. This made me feel like a horrible parent and paranoid. The thing is my ex told my boys about my friend. I felt it was adult business but he went there so they are curious to meet him. It’s difficult to know when is best for these things. This relationship is more then a fling. He is quickly becoming a best friend. Something I never had before.
Anyway then it turned even darker with at least fifteen minutes of how I need to eat healthier and exercise. That I can give any excuse in the world I just need to do it. I was like first wtf second let’s figure out why food is comfort to me. Let’s dig deep and have an ah ha moment. But no instead it was he does it so I should too!
I don’t know what to do I can’t keep going through therapists. I’m running out of options in my small town. But I need someone who will dig deep and at the very least not mention a word about themselves!